Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer

Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer
And in the End was the Word, Amy's Word

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Sunday, June 24, 2018

The Battle inside a Seeker's Soul

Christianity is the dominant game in this upstate New York American neighborhood.   I am on a website for singles and I am surprised at how many men are Christians(in the northeast).  I was a Christian for many years but now I find it a little difficult to identify myself as one.  It just seems that if you adopt Christianity you must give a nay to all other belief systems.  I think Jesus was a great teacher but I don't know if I really believe that he is God.  Perhaps he could be a god, as I see it.  I know the Jews came up with the idea of one God and the Christians split him into three persons.  Three persons with a holy female immortal on the side(Mary)..She is not allowed to be a goddess.  It seems as though if God could be human then it would be both male and female or beyond male and femaleness.  I believe in angelic spirit guides so they must have some kind of eternal light behind them which is a God entity.  I believe that God must be behind all these different interpretations of itself among all these people.  Did It intend to be a bone of contention between peoples?  Jesus said he came into the world to set people against each other (I read that somewhere in the bible)  which is not a very nice thing to do, nor is all the talk of judgment.  I suppose there is light and dark in everything, including the Jesus story and the human's meek interpretation of a god of all faiths.

I think it would be interesting if more people embraced the feminine mother earth, gave up their cars and their single use plastics and started doing more tree hugging and less lawn mowing.  That is my ego talking.  Like, as if I could fix the world with my values.  As if my values were somehow superior to the grand wave of humanity in its values.  Death to the ego is the only way to become spiritually enlightened.  Death to the ego does not mean physical death, it means dying to the self and the self's arrogance.  It does not happen once and bingo you are enlightened, it is a constant endless battle inside a seeker's soul.  Perhaps the industrial polution of modern civilization is irrelevent as there is a grand volcano erruption going to happen or an astroid hit is on its way. 

Once a person says"my interpretation of god is superior to yours," then you are all ego and are headed farther from god..I met with a learned man this past Friday and he clarified what I believe that I already only cost me 25 dollars for a two hour long retreat into his mind.

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