Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer

Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer
And in the End was the Word, Amy's Word

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Sunday, February 25, 2018

Pariah

My mental illness has made me a social pariah.  I sent out a bunch of friend requests on facebook and nobody friended me.  What is it like to be a social pariah?  It is quiet.  I do have several friends and some social activities that I can do, but basically I am a social outcast.  I guess that is why the cancer diagnosis will be easier for me to take than for others.

 I am basically nonviolent but mental illness conjours up fears in  many people.  People must fear me.  I can recall as a little girl two mental cases in the community, both people who walked around the yard and wore a path in their lawn.  I can recall being creeped out by them.  Nowadays people automatically associate mental illness with mass shootings.  My own cousin had that idea about me.  "She is going to get a gun!"  they chanted.  I have never considered getting a gun or even lashing out violently against people.  I did some violent poppet art, I will admit, and that was a cathartic.  I purged myself of any violent feelings through my art.

I am not possessed by any evil spirits, I am well medicated and calm and ready to deal with cancer, if it is cancer.  And I will continue to cope with being a pariah, best that I can.

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