Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer

Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer
And in the End was the Word, Amy's Word

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Thursday, August 3, 2017

On Living in the Present and Taking Responsibilty

I always self analyze this can be taken as living in the past.  I try to see where I went wrong, or why I am the way I am.  If I was through something and relate it, it is very therapeutic for me.  When I relate something that happened years ago, it helps me to see why I am the way I am.  I journal, on the blog, so you readers, read into my diary.  I don't perceive myself as a blamer.  I don't believe my journaling online has a negative impact.  I am a victim of domestic abuse, I don't think I randomly became mentally ill.  I will blame on that count. The diagnosis does not define me, though as I am moving forward in many aspects of my life.  Thanks for the negative finger pointing comments that help me to clarify my position.
    The lawn died in one area because somebody violated a boundary.  I got mental illness because I had family members who slipped me something.  (Another boundary violation.)  If people respected boundaries there would be no need for wars on the personal level or the political level.  I recall college reading about women and how they defined themselves, via hierarchy and web.  We are webbed into hierarchal relationships, mainly defined by perceived status evaluations.  I brought much of my problems upon myself as I did not respect the hierarchy.  I can be disrespectful of people who I perceive as domineering.(I did not know my place.)  I have said many times that my sharp witt bothered people and that is why they slipped me shit to give me my diagnosis.   I think that is sort of taking responsibility, is it not?  I live with the fact that I must be medicated, so the past has a way of being the present.
   But I am hopeful, as now I have more confidence, and confidence is strongly effected by medications.  Once again a cheery hello and thank-you to whom ever made the comment that I live in the past which has a negative effect and that I blame others for my problems.  At least I am not the suicidal type.  I prefer being a blamer than a self destructor.

4 comments:

  1. NOBODY in your family "slipped" you anything. Our genetic make up is our genetic make up. Is it fair? No and I am sorry for that. Take your meds, accept it and move forward.

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  2. "It is my opinion that NOBODY slipped you anything." You are an anonymous advisor.

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  3. Would you send your teenage daughter to spend the night at a lecherous family friends home while visiting sis at college? And then call her a Lolita? You do not speak with authority about my reality, ms. anonymous.

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  4. I will heal from my wounds, real or imagined at my own pace not by your anonymous dictate.

    ReplyDelete