Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer

Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer
And in the End was the Word, Amy's Word

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Friday, August 4, 2017

I Do Indeed Move Foreward

I have related my suspicions that I was dosed with hallucinogens to different people over the years.  My son told me that I really reminded him of a friend on mushrooms in college when I became clinically labeled as manic.  I am not saying that every manic episode that I ever had that somebody was sneaking around dosing me.  Some of my manic episodes (like last year) were because I withdrew from medications.  Please read Peter Breggin's Toxic Psychiatry and you can discover the mechanisms of the neurotransmitters and the results of going off once you have taken these drugs.  (I know that I have to have my shot every month. ) I am proud to say that with me, less is more in the medication department.  I am doing quite well on the one antipsychotic shot.  I do not think like I was thinking last year.  The universe is not centered around me. The past links us to the present.   If I went to a party and started to feel weird and then started seeing things, it is possible that I could have been slipped something.  Another friend of mine, who has been with me when I was manic also agreed that I was slipped something at that party years ago.  I have been validated by people.  I know how I interacted with these people, they are my family.  I know what they were capable of.
It is a wonderful world, but it has it shadow aspects.  There are secret organizations of people in powerful positions that mistreat others in society.  I know that nobody wants to believe that about our world and if you say something you get mocked for believing in "conspiracy theories."  I am a believer in conspiracy theories.  I have researched it.  I have been validated about MK Ultra, by my psychiatrist.  Think what you will about me.  I know I am a genuine kind person who has had struggles with reality.  What people don't all realize is that reality can be ambiguous and nebulous. I realize that and accept it.

My parents were not evil, but they were not right in the head at all times, like me. They are dead, but their words echo in my mind.  One thing my mother used to say was "you are not going to let me off the hook for that".  I am not going to let her off the hook, is right.  I don't hate her, so my memories are not destructive, nor am I in a mental trap.  It is what it is and I do move forward in life.  I share my stories about abuse because of the commenter that adamantly believes I never was mistreated.  I shared the story about the trip to college to visit the lecherous family friend to prove the point that they most certainly could have slipped me something if the would do that kind of thing to their daughter.  The later issue with my mother was that I was not happy with my husband and she loved him....that is a whole nother story.

3 comments:

  1. http://parklab.vanderbilt.edu/Mayer%20and%20Park%202012.pdf

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is not a level playing field. you anonymous shooters blast away while I honestly bare all. End of discussion with the nobodies.

    ReplyDelete