Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer

Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer
And in the End was the Word, Amy's Word

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Monday, January 25, 2016

The Psychological Thriller

I have never watched a reality TV show.  I am not familiar with any of the personalities.  My life has been a reality show with a twist.  My life has been a CIA Fourth Reich engineered psychological thriller.  I recall back in the 1980's, the brother-in-law with whom I was enamored with would say "It's all psychological."  I remember the way he would run the sounds of the word psychological musically together.  I also recall a little African American Fresh Air Fund child who would play tricks and then say "psych"!  He was cute and he had a spirit in tune with foreshadowing for my reality.

In the Late 1980's and early 1990's I became enamored with my children's pediatrician.  He would say suggestive things.  It was difficult to decipher whether he was sincerely flirting or if he was torturing me psychologically and emotionally.  I know now that we were probably on hidden camera or at least audio.  I have these dream like memory that he gave me a golden shower in a local restaurant bathroom.  It was a Swiss cheese memory permeation between my multiple personalities.  I had been somewhat cheeky and believe it was a payback.  (from my ex husband who was filled in and he who felt that I did not respect him enough.)  Apparently there was a huge audience for this drama.  I would apologize for being unfaithful in my heart to my husband but he has no personality.  The reason that he had no personality toward me was because he was keeping secrets and being sneaky in our relationship.  I guess I entertained a whole lot of people and it is possible that bets were made and money exchanged.  The whole drama was painful for me.  I sent his wife a note apologizing for flirting with her husband, as I was "trespassing against her".

In my head, I saw myself as the Madonna with two little ones.  The pediatrician, a healer was a Jesus figure.  My son was born on his feast day, St Nicholas.  I was mistreated by society because of the aforementioned enamoration with the husband's brother.  My reputation was ruined for feelings that I could not help.  As I said, a sneaky husband does not come across with charisma, love or attention. (this can be verified with the CIA and their audiotapes)   The pediatrician was a savior in my psyche.  In reality he was an Old Nic.  (that is slang for the Devil).

The Fourth Reich works with the CIA- as they have since the sixties with former Nazis.  There were a lot of studies done on people in the concentration camps.  These monsters came here to the USA.  I believe myself a kidnap or adoption victim (which they engineered with my father who was in the military).....They set right to work constructing my reality hoping to prove that nurture is stronger than nature.  They decided to try to create a immoral whore.  It began when I witnessed a friend be cut up in a butcher shop when I was seven.  This caused me to dissociate.  As a person who dissociated I was able to be manipulated into spirit channeling or a multiple personality scenario.  From there I was gang raped in the dissociative state many times and made to perform in pornography.  Prostitution was also inflicted on me.   I have posted this previously.

Now that I know that I am in a the psychological thriller I will craft my sadistic laughter.  I guess these experiences have made me rather than have broken me.  There are plenty more.

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