Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer

Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer
And in the End was the Word, Amy's Word

Total Pageviews

Follow by Email

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

The Timeless Realm

I was in fifth grade and I spoke about racism and the KKK with a fellow classmate.  He told me that the KKK existed locally.  I defended human rights.

I married a friend of that very student.  I was told by my husband that the Civil War had never ended.  I did not think to ask, "which side are you on?"  I am pretty sure where his family's sentiments lay.  

That is me.  Age 11.  On Guard.  My life has been a struggle with this racist undercurrent for 30 years.

I was 26 in 1987 and a German man came into my home.  The next day I was "tripping" and labeled a crazy person.  That man was a friend of my German descent sister.

In 2013 I was interviewed by two MIB government men who were there in pretext to evaluate me to stand trial over some offense involving art work. They said "what can we do to make you stop thinking what you are thinking? (re MK Ultra).  Mind control.

It was in Nazi Germany where family was treacherous due to the indoctrination of the youth.  It was in the Civil war where family sentiments were divided.

I live in a timeless realm.

Dear Ukrainian Readers

Dear Ukrainian readers,
 Thank-you so much for taking the time to read about my strange reality.  I love the way your language sounds.  I have only heard it as my friend the Centaur, or G. is fluent.  I really like the almond torte- a classic Ukrainian cake.  G. used to call me Puplichka.

Unfortunately, the Centaur is more of a follower than a leader and I need a man who can't be bought.  As you know my world is infiltrated with an assortment of mobsters.  Confeds, Germans and US govt MIB's.  'Tis all a fun game.........There is a prince out there, after all.

Tuesday, September 29, 2015


I am Cinderella!

This is the book of Grimm's fairy tales that I was given as a Christmas present when I was 11 or 12.  I love fairy tale land.  I have decided to create a new philosophy of spirituality were in our reality is in reality a template for a spiritual fairy-creature dimension.  

  I usually title myself "The Forest Queen."  This year, though, in my fairy tale land, I am Cinderella.   As you can see, I have a toothy grin like Lily James.   I am a timeless being....I am just as present in that photograph as I am sitting at my computer this very day, so don't worry that I am fifty-something.  Thank-you Disney for the inspiration and teaching me about forgiveness.  

Saturday, September 26, 2015

Welcome, Saint Nicholas

There is old Nic, fallen angel in charge of all those who aspire to be bad in life.  His charges have no remorse and use moral relativity in arguments.  His poppet portrait was yesterday.

Today, we have St. Nicholas, the good guy.  He resurrected a few murdered boys who were being stored in pickle barrels.  St. Nicholas had the dimension thing down.  He also anonymously gave young women dowries.  This prevented them from living lives of prostitution.  I am invoking his protection in my life.  I have presented my story numerous times...multiple personalities....occult mafia prostituting me and putting me in porn for many many years(unbeknownst to my baseline person.)

My angels tell me that I am not the only person living this type of drama, so, sisters, if you trust your husband or boyfriend you might be a fool.

Friday, September 25, 2015

Oh, Guess What? He does Indeed Exist

Diablo Photo shoot.

I used to question the reality of the Devil.  I know now that yes, he does exist.  He has no beef with me.  He is interested in the poppets that my angel tells me are going  to Hell. In the old testament, the Devil assisted God to put souls to the test, such as in the Book of Job.

The Many Kinds of Languages

A woman once said to me "know thyself".  She knew of the multiple personalities, I knew not.  I do not believe that they are a splitting of the one personality.  I believe that they are spiritual infestations.  Another spirit comes into the body of the person.  I did not know myself when the woman instructed me to "Know thyself."  Actually, who is the self?

I started dating G in June of 2010.  We dated on Saturday night until October.  I said that I was going to look for other men to date because Saturday nights were not enough for me.  He did call me nearly every night on the phone for those five months.  We had an on again off again relationship after that, for several years.  I sort of felt like each time we were on again I was lowered another notch.  Eventually we met about once a month and stayed home for our visits-lasting a few hours.  He would give me money for gas when I went up to the city to see him.

I was insulted at the bare bones of our interaction, but he was still my friend and I enjoyed his company.  What he did was not evident at first glance.  He helped me to know myselves.  Being a multiple personality person and a sex slave he did exactly what was needed to open the swiss cheese holes between my consciousness and the consciousness of the sex slave.  His behavior towards me blurred the roles of the two entities.  He made it possible for me to have something in common with the sex slave and therefor realize her existence.  His actions spoke loudly and my consciousness listened.  (My friendship was based on the sexual with him.  My world as a sex slave is based on the sexual.)

I had originally resented him.  I know now that what he did was actually a sublime gift in the direction of TRUTH.

Thank-you G.

Thank-you, God.

Thursday, September 24, 2015


The other day I was working on putting an extra lock on my door when my Arch Angel instructed me to say a Rosary and walk in a  certain direction- and take a break from my project.  "Go to the park and turn left toward the bridge."  This I did and when I passed the children's park I met my son and his wife there.  They had texted me but I was not near my phone.  Thanks for the directive! They shared a doughnut and some apple cider that they had just picked up at the market.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Remember those Dog Whistles?

Does anybody recall the dog whistles?  They sound with a tone inaudible to humans, yet very irritable to dogs.  I believe it is entirely possible such a technique is used with me.  Sometimes I will find myself a little irritable for no reason.  My episode of emotional outrage in 2013 might have been exacerbated by tones sent through my Iphone.  I am told that the iphone could very easily emit inaudible irritating tones even while one is not talking on the phone.  My Angel advises against upgrading to an Iphone.

Why would anyone want to make me excited and irritable?  Well, there is a secret nefarious organization that has been abusing me.  Many years ago I was manipulated to have multiple personalities.  I am porned and prostituted in these other personalities.  I know now that the whole "mental illness" line of of thinking in my life is a sham.  This secret organization which has support from the government (AEB MK ultra and project monarch) wants me to think that I am crazy so that they can continue to abuse me.  I say "game over"  they say-"you are a slave, who are you to say "game over"?  People try to mirror to me that I am insane when if fact, I am not.  I have a unique reality where in God and angels and saints comfort me with their advice and friendship.  The modern culture does not want to validate such an experience.  The modern culture believes that spiritual experience is not real.  That is the same occult organization that wants to shut me up by increasing psychotropic medication.

"Take more meds, and spread your legs!"  Is the goal of the secret nefarious Mob.

I do take my medications.  When someones brain has been on medication for 30 years it does not fair well with out.  I am so very happy to know the truth!  You cannot imagine how it feels to be lied to for years and be the subject of an evil secret.  There was a suspicion that something was going on yet I knew not what.

I asked my mother at the time of her death "What is it, in our family?"  She refused to tell.  She tells of it clearly in this sketch.  I am the unconscious dancer being carried off.

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Am I Crazy or Are You Stupid?

A kind woman in church asked me today, "Are you alright?"  with concerned eyes.  I am alright, thank-you, but no, I am not normal.  Just because someone is not normal does not make them "wrong."  It is not the norm, to communicate with Angels, spirits, Saints and God.

Just because my story is strange and unbelievable does not mean it is not true.  There is organized crime in the world, there was such a thing as MK Ultra and Project Bluebird and Project Monarch.  Just because I believe it to be in my life (or something similar) does not mean it is a delusion.

My mental illness diagnosis was created as a cover, so I would not realize that I was a victim(dumb me down and cause me to lose my credibility).  I have multiple personalities and I have been abused.  I don't need you or anybody to confirm my reality.  If you try to mirror to me that I am crazy I will not believe that I am crazy, I will believe that you are stupid.

I will ask you, "what do you know about other dimensions?"  I will asked, "Has the Virgin Mary every taken the time to show herself to you?  If not, why should I look to you for truth?"

Just because you have a nice little normal cozy upstate NY life does not mean that I have had such.

 The power of the Occult is in secrecy...occult means hidden.  If I know that I have been their victim, then they have no power.  They(nefarious organizations)  want to re-establish me as stupid to their antics.   I have been stupid for forty years.  Like I have written before, I am not going back there, to the world of oblivion.  While I am oblivious people rape me in another personality.  That is not going to happen again.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Nice Evening With Family

This morning's phosphenic images were curious.  I first saw a little lamb and then a wolf's face with its mouth wide open.  It appears as if I am being warned of the presence of a wolf.

I had a lovely time with my daughter and her family last night.  We had a pilaf medley of hamburger, rice, peas, onions and mushrooms.  This is a family favorite that my mother used to fix.  My daughter and I and her daughter went for a walk along the Keuka outlet.  She had some fun plans to spend the night in October with her kids.

After they had left I realized that much of my spiritual work occurs in the night, dreams and images, etc.  I texted her later and told her that it might be better if she came for a whole day on a Saturday instead of an overnight.

I shared my Catholic Worker paper with my son-in-law and daughter.  They are wonderful people who are not afraid to think for themselves.

I shared my sketches that I had done of the major players of the Civil War and their wives.  I drew these while at work the other day.

I love my family so so very  much.

Saturday, September 12, 2015

Over Ten thousand days

I just thought that I would share.  It was 10,277 days ago that I believed the lie that I had mental illness.  Ten thousand days +

I don't have mental illness.  I was "treated" to remain stupid to my exploitation.

I must still take medication because my brain is now dependent on the derivations from pesticides which slow ones thought processes.

Friday, September 11, 2015

In Honor of Papa

When I was in my transitional time between asleep and awake, my Lord showed me a crown of thorns.  While I was making coffee, I said to Jesus, "that crown of thorns is not in reference to me, is it?  I have had enough mental challenges!"  Jesus said, "no, Amy it is for your former husband, L."  He said, "go to the garden and get some rose branches and fashion a cross for your X.

"Amy, when your mother called him her favorite son - in-law it was because he was complicit in the plan to abuse you with porn and prostitution in another personality."

It is a very grave sin to do such to one's wife.  Amy, we in heaven want to help L., so we are going to give him the crown of thorns.  He wanted to be called Papa after your father died.  Your father went by "Papa" in parody of the affectionate title of the Pope.  The pope is a representative of Jesus on Earth.  So in honor of "Papa" the 23rd who championed human rights, we are going to give L. a purple robe to wear on this anniversary of the attack on the twin towers. He goes by the title "Papa", after all.

The point of this is to help L. to believe in God and fathom reality.

Amy:  "L, we the angels, saints, King Arthur and Jesus honor you with a robe, so you can appreciate what life is really all about.  It is given to you with love."

See, I am wearing a scarlet robe too----

This is just doll therapy.  No evil intention is meant to any participants and certainly no threat is intended.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015


I was once a little girl.  My gal pal was Terry.  We had a lot of fun together, including running holding hands and going "double speed!"

Terry did not approve of my unhappiness with my husband Larry.  She thought I was a terrible wife, or so I thought.  My ex and I were divorced when her mother had an anniversary party and invited everyone in my family but me.  I wondered why and figured that they thought I had done Larry wrong by being a flirt.

My father passed away a year ago and Terry's mom was rude to me and Terry had been rude to me when we bumped into each other in the restaurant.  I kept bumping into Terry's husband and trying to make contact with no  success.  Clearly Terry hated me and I know not why.

Oh that is right, I am such a hypocrite.  Going to church and all when I live such a sinful life.  I know now what my other personality was up to --as in porn and prostitution.   They knew about that and when they were rude it was to express disapproval.  Thank You!  You provided an important clue in the mystery.

Terry and Joan, will you forgive me for doing things in another personality that I knew nothing about?  My family created the multiple personality gig to make money off me.  I have been their sex slave.  I think that they were supported by the federal government.  It is not easy to be up against the feds!  Thank-you God, angels and saints, I could not be doing this challenge to be a Freewoman without you!

Oh, Joan, now that I wrote you a thankyou note for your rudeness, the Feds will meet with you and counsel you what to say if you bump into me.  Its to do with the MK Ultra- project Monarch.

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Happy Birthday Blessed Mother!

Happy Birthday Blessed Virgin Mary!  Thank-you for being a friend of mine.  I appreciate the protection you have given me.  I love you!

I gave you a smile in 2013 (on the painting that had looked sad)

This is a picture of mine when I was about 13, tucked in a frame with BVM.  The frame is made by a person of the First Peoples.

Monday, September 7, 2015

Welcome to Sanityville in Crazyland

Ever since the early morning visit from FDR I have had a new strategy for my poppet therapy.  I don't believe that I am a mentally ill person, I believe that drugs have been slipped to me to make me appear mentally ill.  But, I am an emotional creature.  I had in the past given my "enemies" the wounds of Christ.  Ever since FDR came to me and told me we are at war, I have been inspired.  I created a prisoner of war camp.  If you are wondering where a poppet is, it might be in the box in the closet.  One of the officers at the camp is Cain.  All the prisoners get manacled.  I follow the Geneva convention rules, unlike the real Guantanamo bay.

Today myself, (the Forest Queen) and my beloved King Arthur have a request from our newest  inmate, Dave.

Could you please play Green sleeves?

Note the Karmic wheel in the background of my portrait and in the back ground of Dave's photo whe have a light and its shadow.

Doll therapy is often recommended for children.  In order to enter the Kingdom of God you must become like a little child.  Thank-you Jesus, for tending to the growth of compassion in my heart.

Oh!  Look, one of the most dearest sweet Saints decided to join us --It is Maria Goretti!

Sunday, September 6, 2015


I live near a lake shaped like the letter "Y".(Keuka)  The letter Y is pronounced "why".  Why is the eternal question that mankind asks.  Why is there suffering?  Why is there persecution?  Why are people incapable of understanding and loving each other?  Why are there people in the world who are bent on destroying others?  Why?  Where is the love to stop all this senseless destruction?  I ask why?

My parents had a cottage on the shores of Keuka Lake when I was young.  The lake is magical.   There is another lake in the world shaped like a Y.  It is lake Como.  Pope John XXIII's family is near there.  It was a favorite vacation spot of Einstein.  The world of faith asks the question why and of course the world of science asks the question why. Pope John the XXIII started the human rights movement with Pacem in Terris.  I am into human rights as mine have been severely violated.  We know that Albert Einstein is da bomb.  The bomb was not his only accomplishment.

Do you think that the shape of the water as a "Y" prompted these thinkers to come up with their great contributions?  Letters and words have vibrations, perhaps there is a strong vibration being emitted from the large body of water shaped like a "Y".  This vibration might connect with the collective consciousness and God to help people solve the riddles of creation.

Why  should you think this possible?  I know why.

addendum:  I just returned from a pilgrimage around the circumference of Keuka lake.  I thought about how it is shaped like a fork....... or a tuning fork.   A two pronged fork is a bident, not a trident.  It can be a fish fork or a pitch fork.  A knife relates to a sword and a fork relates to a knife.  It can be a weapon.
The shape of the two tines is like a woman's legs......much to ponder.

Hades has a two pronged fork.........

Saturday, September 5, 2015


Part of being Fey entails a vivid imagination.  One of my first encounters with beings in a different dimension involved my owl figurines.   The winter after my hospitalization I was very alone except for my owl company.  I have many owl figurines.  The two most special are King Arthur and this little cloisonne owl from Assisi.   To envision the other dimension one must treat the figurine as if it were alive.  That winter I took a scissors and black cloth and cut up little mouse shapes for the owls to eat.  I also took them to the window and envisioned their spirits going outside for the night.  In the morning I envisioned myself bringing them in.  In my third eye I see the owl figurines as real owls alighting on my arm.

I spent a lot of emotional time with the King Arthur Owl that winter(2014).  I was  instructed to set up a court scene and a list of people were put on trial(poppet people).  It was a Judgement Day trial.  Each of the owl figurines had a vote on the person on trial.  They were jurors I suppose.  The owl figurines are like a fetish, they inhabit a spirit.  When I talk to them they respond, often just a yea or a nay.  This occurred in my attic.  There were also saints and Angels on the committee.  I was misjudged by my friends and family as violent.  This false accusation must have incurred a Judgement of sorts upon them.  I did not do the judging, I only documented the names and the sentences.  I empowered the spirits that work with me and this was very helpful in securing their loyalty.

From my Journal

Last night I took these two owls outside and left some ground lamb out for them.  I had been out on my break at work and I was humming Alleluia, then I realized that I was singing "Owleluia"--I knew that I was long overdue in keeping up my relationship with the owls!

I thought I would give you readers a window  into the world of someone who is fey.  There are no guns!  Only little owl figurines and the power of a pure heart.  As you can see, the table top of this alter type of yard furnishing is in the shape of the head of a fox.  I would put more decor like a linen, candles and flowers but people might think that I am fey!  We must keep up the appearance of normal.

Thanks, Lord Jesus, for your help in my life!

Friday, September 4, 2015

Blogger is all about Recipes

About five years ago I was living with a man.  He refused to start a blogger account because he said, "Its mostly recipes."  This blog is dedicated to Brian the Faun.

In 2004 I was in Italy and was hospitalized in a mental hospital.  I lost a week of memory.  I wonder if they put a device behind my nose, during those days I was not conscious of.  I ate eggplant in the mental hospital.  It was just cooked as a vegetable.  I had always thought of elaborate recipes to cook eggplant.  Tonight after all these years I cooked eggplant just as a side dish.  In the last minute I called my daughter to see if she had any ideas.  SHE DID!  "Mom, put some curry on it!"  I sauteed it and put some on. (after I salted the eggplant for a half hour.)

It was perfect, I had baked some meatballs and I had some olive bread on the side and some dry Rose.  People who live alone have to have some motivation to eat nutritiously.

Adult children are wonderful, you give them ideas and they reflect them back to you in new ways.

I am very excited.  I read an article about the Pope, he told the American nuns "I love you all."  Sweet.  I told him the same in a letter a few months back.  I feel loved, even though I am not a nun.

Did anyone notice?  This set of dishes was used on the movie Quiz Show.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Could this be True?

I was just sitting here this evening sorting a box of paintbrushes when my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ interrupted me.  He said, "You know, Amy, your enemies are plotting away to get you locked up."  I said, "let me guess, they are going to hypnotize me in the night to act out at my sister."  He replied, "Yes, many are angry that you have exposed them and they want to punish you.  When you say that you have a special relationship with me that makes them all the more determined to get you in a group home or in the state facility...for a long time.  They want to set you as an example so that people will keep their mouths shut when they know about any criminal activity."

"Well, Jesus, I have you to thank for my calm attitude about all the troubles in my life.  You know how to frame things so that "its all good."  But, I surely don't want to be "framed."

"What should I do?"

"Just keep on as you have been, working at your gallery/studio, being with your children, praying fervently and try as you might to be a conduit for Our love."

Yes, I most certainly will.

Oh, Amy, I see that you made some cookies tonight, that was a good idea.

Thanks so much for your help, Jesus!

I am Not Going Back There and The Flow of Qi

There is a place in my mind where I tell myself that all my suspicions about my nefarious family and former relationships are wrong.  I have gone there regularly over the years especially after an emotional upset and hospitalization.  Guess what folks?  I am not ever going back there again.  It is very clear to me that I was exploited in other personalities.  I have enough evidence in my mind.  I will no longer discard  what I know is real for what is pleasant and palatable.  It is not going to happen.  Nobody is going to get back into my head and influence what ever spirit visits me to do what is immoral by the standards of my baseline personality.

I have a theory and a perspective to offer.  When somebody has sex in front of the camera and people are watching there is an exchange of qi.  I am a timeless being.  There is a dimension in which I am  in the now with photos and videos.  In the past years I needed qi so that I could eventually two way connect with God.  I now have a sufficient level of qi.   I have two way communication with an Angel and spirits and of course, Jesus.  The only reason God allowed my to be porned and prostituted was to raise my qi to the point of two way communication.  I realized something similar to this when I used to visit the man I refer to as the Centaur.  His house was near a huge lake and forest.  The motion of the cars on the highway pulled the qi off the lake to a park.  He road his mountain bike through the growing park forest and charged himself with qi.  I put up with behaviors that I would not normally put up with.  I would absorb his qi when we had sex..  The high level of qi was necessary to open the portal.  (at times in my closed eye vision I see a portal-tunnel.)

The people who attempt to and have in the past exploited me were filling a qi recipe.  The portal is now open   The multiple personalities were necessary as my baseline would never agree to such activities.  I was able to get the qi and remain free of that sin.  To all who porned and prostituted me, "Thank-you for your contribution, your services are no longer needed."

I guess that there are some people who don't believe that my spirituality is real.  Terms like "hallucination" are used when talking to or about me..  I am having religious visions.  I am not hallucinating.

  Hallucination;  An experience involving the perception of something that is not present.  Qi is present.  God is present.  Angels exist in our consciousness.  Dimensions are scientifically present.  Who is anybody to say what I experience is not present?

I have the perception (my keys were stolen out of my sun-room)  that people enter my home in the night and invoke or try to invoke the spirits that they have exploited me in the past while I sleep.  Do you really think it wise to mess with a woman who has the forces mentioned above on her side?  You don't seem to bright.  (bright in intelligence or bright spiritually)  I like to offer that as people would say about me and the multiple personalities, "How can she be so smart and so dumb at the same time."

Please excuse my dumb chicken scratch.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015


If there are any persons or powers in the country, or world who feel it is their right to access any of my personalities be they current or past you are wrong.  I am in my right mind in my baseline personality and any of those other spirits or personalities who occupy me are not welcome.  No person has my permission to call on any of these other entities.  It seems some have profited from my multiple personalities while keeping the scenario from me for many years.  This is a heinous crime.  It is selfish, dishonest and EVIL.  I was medicated with neuroleptics to remain oblivious to the scheme.  Like I said in another blog entry.  GAME OVER.