Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer

Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer
And in the End was the Word, Amy's Word

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Saturday, August 15, 2015

No, No, No, How do you like it?

Back in the early nineties some times I would get paranoid and think people were talking about me.  I had a brother in law who had a little crush on me.  I was kind to him as I knew how it  felt to care for someone that you are not supposed to.  I was misunderstood, as his wife and I spoke (my husband's sister)  She said, "It takes two."  I was already enamored with my husbands brother or my pediatrician at that time.  I see now, retrospectively how shallow I was.  This guy, that guy...all the while a married woman.  I must have been hungry for love.

What is interesting is the conversation he (J) and I had.    He said to me, "Amy, I don't know who you can trust."  I said "not even my father?  Surely, I can trust him."  He repeated, "I don't know who you can trust....but you got me!"

Who you can trust?  Surely, the government?  Surely mental health professionals? Surely the CIA?  Surely the organized crime in the neighborhood? friends?  priests?  No, No, NO!!!!  How do you like it?  How do you like it?

I trust God.....

 J. and his wife were in a business partnership with my husband and I on the family dairy farm for a few years.  We were raising our families in fairly close proximity.  I found J. to be fun.  He had a nice smile and had a good measure of self confidence.

J.  used to sing a tune around me, "More, more, more, how do you like it?"  It is a song by a porn star.  I was a porn star in an alter personality and knew nothing of it my regular personality.  My alter personality was engineered by the people closest to me.  People I loved blatantly exploited me behind my conscious mind.

They cannot confess to me, as it is against the secret organization's charter.  My dear friend Jeff was tone of the few human people who told me the truth over all these years.  Thank-you!

J. died in 1995.  Suicide, so they said. First he shot himself in the head and partially missed.  I visited him in the hospital with my husband.  His last words to me were, "Taking your medicine?"  I don't think that he thought I could handle full mental capacity.  Full mental capacity meant I would figure things out.

This Blog entry is Dedicated to Jeff S.

Dear Jeff, I can still hear your voice.  You are a very, very, good friend and I failed to appreciate you while you were alive.    I can see you in the other dimension.  Thanks for your help!

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