Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer

Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer
And in the End was the Word, Amy's Word

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Wednesday, July 29, 2015

When in the Hospital do as the Roman's do

When I arrived in the State Mental Hospital in 2013, it became clear that there are two worlds, the people with the medications, orders and status and the less than people. (the patients). The people in power have the accepted truth. The less-than mentally ill folks are broken, deviant, violent, crazy people. In my case most of my delusions had a foundation of some reality in the society, but since I, the mentally ill person thought it, my thoughts were nonsense. I was caught up in “conspiracy theories.” (thus I was imagining a falsehood). It makes no difference that the organized crime, Illuminati and the KKK exist, since I the mentally ill person thought it, it was false pertaining to my life. Since, according to those in power, everything I said was nonsense it made no difference how it was documented. I was documented as having an order of protection from my professor, which did not exist. He had some college rules written up that I was to stay away from him. There was no order of protection with the courts. Since it was in the chart wrong it kept getting passed along as the truth, when it was not the truth. I had a theory that I was the illegitimate child of Pope John XXIII. I was born while he was in office and he had a pattern of walking the streets of Rome at night alone. He could have been drugged and fathered a child. I am not saying it certainly happened but it is in the realm of possibility. I had a male friend named George. What was put in my chart was utter nonsense. They charted that I thought I was the child of King George XXIII. This character does not even exist in history. I believe that I had a rational delusion. It was turned into nonsense to make me look more insane. That previous February I was picked up by police while out walking and I sat down on the ground and started praying the Rosary. The police reported that I was talking gibberish. So any theories that I had were completely impossible and if they looked possible they were manipulated to be nonsense including my expression of faith.

When one is in the hospital and considered to be a moron what does one decide to do? Well the people in control who can release you need to see that you are making progress. Progress in their mind means that you do not believe in yourself. You have to make yourself believe as they do, that you are a moron. The people in power believed that I was where I belonged. I must have a violent nature, the judge, a military man decided so.  I also had art which offended him. I was quizzed on my history of violence.  I confessed to throwing a chair when I was called a “mental patient” in 1994. I mercifully put a very very sick kitten out of its misery on the farm. I did a few things while an adolescent, punched my sister and slapped my mother. Those ancient events really did not count. I am not a violent person. I hate guns. I was not a danger to society. I was put in the hospital by a Judge (white old man in power) in a very white community. I was chiming out against racism in our neighborhood in my videos. I was shut up and punished. I was a political prisoner. I did not repeat that too many times though. I was bipolar. I was having an exacerbation. I was delusional.  My care takers were paid professionals.  They get paid, their function has validity.  They are paid to think what I think is moronic nonsense.  Money makes them right and me crazy wrong.  No matter, other cultures might perceive my experience differently.  In the USA where pharmaceuticals rule, any "different thought" is in error and constitutes illness.

I said to the Doctors, “I think that I may have multiple personality disorder.” They had no interest in looking into that. Why? White Old Men doctors have connections with the same organizations, (government Mk Ultra- State Hospital) Illuminati, Satanic and the KKK. Did the doctors want to expose anybody? Of course not. Better for the patient to go from clarity (labeled delusional) back to deluding herself that nothing is up with her life(mentally healthy-in their eyes). The organizations mentioned do not engage in child's play. You do as they say or else. In regards to Satanic organizations, the mental health arena is where they exercise control of their secret. Satanism is a clandestine organization and they perceive themselves within their rights to conceal their identity. This is especially true when it comes to their victims. The victims are usually right in the midst of satanism and have no clue. If the victim starts to realize what is going on, there are enough satanic practitioners in the mental heath field to fail to validate their suspicions. So at any time if a person says “I suspect Satanic activity in my family.” The answer from a professional will be, “you are psychotic.” I believe that many of these mental health professionals go into the field in order to protect their religion from exposure. The best course of action is to agree with them, (and at the time you might actually agree, as a form of psychological protection.) take ones medication and get free. 

Once you are back in the world you will come back to the truth, if it is the truth. This time, though, stay calm. To get out you must play the game.  To stay out you must stay quiet and not offend anyone.

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