Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer

Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer
And in the End was the Word, Amy's Word

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Sunday, July 19, 2015

Thy Husband's Brother

I mentioned in my profession of love blog entry that I had spoken such words to my brother-in-law while holding his pinky finger."I am so in love with you!" (this was later in the drama) Let me preface this story with the fact that I was nineteen when I married.  I married my first boyfriend.  He begged me never to leave him.  My ex spoke these words at one time "My father wanted me to marry you because of the money."  I did not understand then but I do now.  I was a multi-personality sex slave and money could be made from me.  In my baseline oblivious personality I did consistently choose love over social danger, it might be a tragic flaw of mine!

For some reason, around the time of the conception of  my son I started to feel attracted to my husband's brother.  I don't know why and I do know that it is forbidden.  Didn't John the Baptist lose his head over a discussion about Herodias sleeping with her brother-in-law?

As for the conception of my son, I had a fantasy that Stephen had switched places with my husband, one morning in our marriage bed while I was half asleep.  This cannot be proven as genetics between brothers are so close.  I try not to ever speak of those suspicions, 'Tis a fantasy.

I was riding back from a family gathering and I had been imbibing in hard cider.  I pushed my leg against his as we were sitting next  to each other. After that, I perceived looks of interest from him.  He had been in partnership with my husband on a dairy farm.  He ended the partnership and the following year he went on a motorcycle ride around the country.  After that he joined the Peace Corps where he met his present wife.  The day he left on his bike ride was July 20, 1984.  He did not say good-by to me.  I was quite immature and imagined a romantic good-bye.  We had never discussed the attraction I perceived.  He left and then I proceeded to share my feelings with his sister at her house that morning.  (social suicide) She called him while he was on his trip and he denied ever knowing anything about it.  He instructed her to "nip it in the bud."  She said to me, "Amy, you are a shy and insecure girl, that is why he was nice to you. He felt sorry for you.  Amy, you imagined it."

I think that it is entirely possible that I alone perceived the attraction and my reality was manipulated by the Saint of his namesake, St. Stephen.  The Saint knew I needed to feel loved.  He entered into the brother-in-law without his knowledge, to help me.   It was a help to think myself loved by Stephen even though his behavior after the leak spoke otherwise.

This whole situation became an argument about my sanity.  If Stephen knew I had a crush on him then I was sane.  If he did not then I was insane.  The family was very possessive about Stephen.  He was the Alpha male, first born son.  The story got out and all felt for him in this predicament. The family was in actuality thinking "Our Stephen would never desire that whore."  I was the insane, immoral woman and he was so very innocent.  He never even noticed that I was looking at him lustfully.  That may be the case,  and it could have been the spirit of  Saint Stephen with the longing looks for me.

I was told, "wait till this happens again."  For Stephen to be cleared, I must continue to present as insane.  That might be part of the reason that I was given hallucinogens by the German visitor in July of 1987.  Firstly, Amy needed a mental health diagnosis for incredibility for a cover with the sex slavery.  Secondly, Stephen needed  Amy to have a mental health episode for his credibility. Thirdly, the organization wanted my mind dulled by medication so that I would have difficulty figuring out the sex slave operation that I was playing a starring role in.

This is a poppet of  Stephen the Brother of my husband.  I was guilty of being enamored with his charisma.  

This is the poppet of Saint Stephen.  He is a very good friend and we communicate.  He says he was a part of the infatuation I had.   There is a spiritual energy that helps us communicate visually  and mentally.

While Stephen was in Guatemala I sent him letters.  I saw them in a pile at his house once, with colored paperclips on them.  I wish I could have copies of them now.  I would be able to understand the self of 1985 better.  Can you visualize that?  A pile of love letters with colored paperclips kept as evidence.

On his wedding day his bride said to me,  "Ha, Ha!  I got him!"  This was at the reception.  I also said to my husband, "we are all just puppets on strings."  For some reason that came out of my mind.  He was disturbed,   "Why did you say tha?"  He knew about the secret organizations.

This is from a photo prior to the bike trip.  It is a false forshadowing as he was not to stand behind me at all.  It was my fault as I shared when I shouldn't.  He did not know anything about my infatuation with him, after all.

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