Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer

Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer
And in the End was the Word, Amy's Word

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Tuesday, July 28, 2015

I Found my Diary....2004

I found a diary of mine from 2004-5.  I cannot believe how insane I was.  I was focused on an Orthodontist that I barely knew.  I had been his patient three years prior to 2004 for less than a year.  I ramble on and on in my diary, I cannot believe that that was really me.  I do believe it to be entirely possible that I was hypnotized to think about him incessantly.  Thinking, mind you, about nothing really, as I did not know the person.  I am ashamed that I emailed him and that I had such a peculiar focus.

I believe that I have had multiple personalities.  While  in another personality was I somehow hypnotized to have this nonsensical perseveration in my baseline person?  It is also possible that I knew him in the other personality and that emotions seeped over to my baseline.

Excerpt from diary-
"Oh, I do hope my dreams come true and my dear love T. comes to see me Friday 13th at midnight.  I am making  my lovenest perfect--scrubbing and cleaning and doing every thin I can in anticipation of the most wonderful night of my life....."

This thinking was total nonsensical garbage.  I did not even know this person.  I really believe that I was hypnotized to think this way.  Covertly hypnotized by a secret organization to look insane...Or like I said above, my other personality was well acquainted with him.

What is interesting is that I was called "the cow" at my son's birthday party (a few years back) by my ex-husband.  I perceive cows to give milk and also, nowadays, they are flushed for their eggs.  I was milked when prostituted and porned.  Were my eggs flushed?  If so, who purchased my eggs?  Are there children of mine around, who I am unaware of?

If I was, as my surreal spiritual story goes, a different sort of spiritual creature, it is possible my eggs are out there, walking around living life.  I hope that they are treated well and loved.

I have a conversation going on with Jesus.  When I asked him about one man who might have taken or bought my eggs Jesus said,"Amy, I don't like that guy.  He did nothing to help you.  If you are the goose that lays golden eggs, he just took some eggs and left you for the hatchet and stump.  He may come across as feeling so blessed, but he is just an opportunist, and he will be judged."

At least my reality of today is a surreal interpretation of real conversations and events that have occurred over the years.  There really was such a thing as MK ultra, project paper clip, etc. so my conclusions as to possibilities are not nonsense as the diary excerpt was.

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