Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer

Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer
And in the End was the Word, Amy's Word

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Tuesday, June 16, 2015

While an Art Student

I had a certain art professor while at college that I felt mixed feelings for.  When we first met I sensed in him a hostility  towards me, so much that I was driven to a brief moment of tears.  As his student I perceived in myself a sense of distasteful neediness.  I eagerly awaited feedback regarding my work, but at the same time, that eagerness for approval was a little over the top.  I was an aggressive student, right there with the answer when student input was desired.  I thought that I did have some sort of a crush on him.
The first drawing we shared in intro to drawing he did not give me feedback that it was too light until the drawing was displayed before the class.  I felt as if he was showing me that I was not that great- and saved that message for a public moment.  He gave a wire sculpture assignment which he guided me on.  The sculpture was reminiscent of a penis and scrotum.  I did not see this until the piece was finished.  It has just reminded me of a fish.  I believe it was a biomorphic project.

I became what I describe as "manic"...be this "bipolar" or drug or hypnosis induced.  With that I wrote a series of emails to him.  He politely asked me to curtail this activity as he had many serious student requests and did not want the distraction.  He was fairly kind to me during my time of excessive focus on him.  None of the emails were overtly seductive.

There was a young woman who also had feelings for this Professor B.  She and I became friends.  He favorited her.  I was a little jealous, but I was unsure that I really liked him anyway.  He called all students "guys", Hey guys, guys this and guys that.  It annoyed me. Everything was "tricky."   I began to perceive that he was using her for his ego enjoyment.  He was a little older than me.  The young girl eventually graduated but she sent me photos to my iphone of the two of them posing together.

Decmber of 2012 I posted a video I had created on youtube.  It was candlelight and on the table was the wire sculpture and some figurines.  I used a deep voice when I described a tiny photo of him,(using his name).  It was creepy but nothing threatening. I was acting out of a feminist viewpoint, as I thought he was sexist. I became hospitalized and when I came out of the hospital I found that I had been kicked out of his class.

Prior to this event, I had been asleep in my own bed and seen his naked body and heard his voice in my dreams.  I believe that this was a slippage of my one personality to another.  In the other personality, Maggie, I had a sexual encounter with him.  I believe that whomever is my "handler", watched my emails and set me up with him.  This of course cannot be proven.  I believe that when I am asleep the handler enters my home and speaks the name of the alter, and the alter wakes up.  She carries out what ever instructions that are given her.

Well, Professor B. had me disciplined for the video.  I responded with the details of the young woman writing me texts at 11 pm, while she was all distraught, in love with him.  I explained that the video was a feminist response.

Eventually he told the Security at the School that it was alright if I emailed him.  I have and he has never responded.

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