Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer

Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer
And in the End was the Word, Amy's Word

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Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Pre-First Love

I have written about my first love, Joe, who went on to be an actor. I actually had another first love- call it the pre-first love. His name was David. He was Jewish, although I am unsure if he practiced his Judaic heritage. I must say that my life was bifurcated. There was the Clifton Springs world and the Keuka Lake world. David was of the Keuka lake world, that made him superior. He was and is a talented musician. He would bring his bass down to the lake every summer and play music.  His family stayed with mutual friends. The friend was a woman that my mother had known since high school. I thought that David was very cute and funny.(He liked to imitate the Three Stooges)  Little did I know that my preoccupation with boys was a mental escape. An alter was being created, by my family. I had witnessed a horrific event and used thoughts of boys to block out the memory.

One time we had a campfire on the beach and I gave David a back rub. I have to say now that the event was one of the most romantic events in my life.  (We were not alone.)  Another memorable event was the Leonids Meteor shower.  Keuka lake is shaped like a letter Y.  The land mass that comes between the branches is called the"Bluff"  There was an area without many trees that we hiked to from our cottages to watch for shooting stars at the top of the Bluff. (the bunch of us.)  I did not know at the time that shooting stars are ill omens.

I believe that it was when I was in seventh grade that David wrote me a letter. It was fairly short. He signed it “Love,” At twelve or thirteen, the word love on a letter is very significant. David was a few years older than me. I waited for several months for him to come to the lake during vacation. He brought a girlfriend this time. That was a supreme disappointment.

When I was seventeen and dating my husband to be, David and his sister Emily invited me to come to Philadelphia. I agreed and was so excited that I wanted to come as soon as possible. I don't know if anything happened between me and David on that trip. There are memory drugs and techniques used with “alters”....I will probably never know. I do know that Emily was hostile towards me and I knew not why.

We went to a Nature Reserve and looked for waterfowl the next day. I recall David's father was somewhat cheap about where we ate. (I was used my mother's extravagance)  We flew back from Philly together as he was a music student in Rochester.  The jet experienced turbulence.  I recall his bright  wide eyes and how he smiled with each bump.

A few years back David had played the role of my Knight in Shining Armor. Us young girls, there were four of us, were squabbling about something. David assessed the situation and decided that the girls were not being fair to me and he spoke up on my behalf.

Another time, I was judging somebody (us girls did that regularly) and he corrected me. He advised that I should not pass judgement and that people had a right to enjoy their own interests.(He taught me a moral lesson.)

He also edified me about Judaism. He said it is a religion, not a race of people.

I wish that I could have known David over the past 40 years. Nobody from the lake culture will have anything to do with me. They know more about me than I do myself. The alter personality keeps most of her secrets.  I have been knocking on her door...'tis only a matter of time.

I have written to him several times.  Why no response?  Am I a less-than breed of person because I have "bipolar" so everyone is nervous around me?  Or perhaps I am a sex slave and some organization runs my life that scares people to death.  I just can't buy the bipolar reason, as many people have it and it should not make a person a pariah.  Perhaps they think that they might have to make a choice were they in conversation with me.  Confirm my sex slave suspicions or deny them..either choice has its own problems.

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