Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer

Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer
And in the End was the Word, Amy's Word

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Monday, June 29, 2015

No, This Cannot Have Happened

I was in a recumbent position thinking to myself prior to falling asleep last night and I believe that I received a telepathic message as thus follows:  "Amy, tell us about the times you thought you evaded death." So I got up and started writing. When I was in a Kundalini event in 2013, otherwise known as psychotic many stories stormed my consciousness.  Some had to do with times that unbeknownst to myself, I evaded death through a time loop.  Here is one such story.

It was prior to 2010, perhaps 2008 and I was in a relationship with B.  He lived in my home with me.  I recall a fantasy I had which was unusual as I am straight.  It was a menage trois fantasy.  What I now realize is that sometimes when I perceive something as fantasy, it actually might be occurring in an alter personality (multiple personalities are called "alters").  My Ex. B. had plenty of girls that he interacted with on the computer, notably, Myspace.  There were several that I felt jealous of. Was someone invited to my home?  Specifically there was a woman who was an EMT and a photographer.  She had posted a few shocking photos of accident victims who were deceased.  I argued with my Ex B. that posting such was disrespectful of the dead and their families.


What I recall told to me while in the Kundalini event was that during this three-way fantasy which was not a fantasy, I was murdered.  Was I stabbed during the sex, or maybe choked? I believe the sex act I had to do was on the woman and not anything I would ever choose to do.  It was humiliating.


 I remember being in my bathroom and seeing my body cut up in chunks in the tub.  I was looking through the eyes of the female guest in my house. This memory is such that it cannot be proven.


I  said, "No, this cannot have happened."  I walked into the dining room and sat in a chair at the table.  I closed my eyes and when I awoke it was earlier in the evening.  Someone came to the door, but I told B.  I was too tired to entertain, so I went to bed.  The person did not join us (in any other personality) or in a fantasy/reality.  I carried on with my life with no recall of any death event.  I was completely oblivious to the time loop.

I can remember seeing the way my Ex. moves his fingers in a wave like motion when at the cutting board.  It gives me the creeps.  I gave a party a while after this event in which I made borscht.  Somebody took a new dishtowel and mopped up a spill.  Perhaps it was red wine, which ever, it seemed so peculiar that someone would stain the towel.  Was it a hidden message?  There was a missing carving knife that was found years later broken under the refrigerator.  Was it broken on a bone of mine?


 In my third eye I see a baggie with my heart in it.
You see, when one has the reputation for evading death people want to eat your flesh.  They don't realize that Jesus owns that gig!


While reviewing this story it came to me that  the guest was the photographer.  She took pictures of the freshly dead from accidents.  I looked at 2 of her photos on her Myspace page.  I am a timeless being.  I see through her eyes when she took the picture of the dead person and also when I am murdered and am a spirit.  I had looked through her eyes at the freshly dead person,  as a spirit I do the same looking at  my own remains.  This somehow caused me to be able to go back in time as I am one with the accident victim and had spoken out on that persons behalf. I see through the eyes of the photographer with her photo from the past and also as a spirit while my remains are in the tub.    Because my spirit unites with the accident victim in the photograph I am able to be free of the constraints of time and  space in the murder situation.  (eyes of the photographer being the vehicle.) Sorry for the repetition!


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