Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer

Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer
And in the End was the Word, Amy's Word

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Sunday, May 31, 2015

Is Meryl Listening?

While relaxing this afternoon I thought of a certain actress, out of the blue.  Meryl Streep came to mind. When that happens I think, "Must be my Angel wanting to tell me something."  I feel badly as I have not seen that much of Meryl's body of work.  I read about her on Wiki, she has had quite a career. I read about her ideas on faith.  She consider's church going as a source of solace for people.  My father defined it in similar terms.  Meryl does not believe in the power of prayer.  I was told by my angel to try to explain  faith to her.  I use mental free form prayer as well formula prayers. Free form prayers spring forth from ones consciousness.  Formula prayers are like mantras in that they calm the brain and connect to a source of God energy.  The Rosary for instance also combines mental imagery that is a type of time travel.  When you connect to Jesus through the mysteries you relate your own life to Jesus's and join your suffering with his.  It is not really for a source of solace, it is more a source of power.

The power extends to immortality via salvation.  If you are not saved then what?  You might be damned which might mean that you don't experience anything after life.  Perhaps endless blackness or maybe a different form of life, such as an eternal return of an insect.

Other things about Christianity that are remarkable is a dedication to the poor.  There is a Social Justice goal in Roman Catholicism.  There is a neat newspaper titled, The Catholic Worker that bears checking into.  It is emblematic of the true faith.  Dorothy Day was its founder.

My faith has never been for me just a source of solace.  I have just had some major realizations about my reality where I have been betrayed by many people, as a slave.  I did not think, gee, I feel better maybe I can get some solace from church.  It is more like....This is all for You, sacred heart of Jesus, guide me in my next step.

Meryl, you have had a very rich life minus the faith game.  Good for you, I am happy for you.

  Oh yeah!  The Christian faith teaches us to love our enemies.  If I have any enemies out there, I will do my best to love you!

Saturday, May 30, 2015

What Animal or Insect will You Be?

   Sometimes I am told by my Angel that characters in my personal drama  are attempting to rid the planet of me.  My Angel has informed me that when that occurs  I am to contemplate the nature of the character and delegate a proper non-human life form that will accommodate their spirit.  The angelic world gives me guidance and tips.  I make no decisions on my own.

For example, if the person loves death and the kill, the form of a green bottle fly would be most appropriate for them on the Last Day.  This can be accomplished with prayer, art and poppetry.  I am not speciesist, flies are very helpful in the decaying process.  Flies, while very special, have a lower level of qi...just like a person who would kill.

Recall the movie, The Fly. As the Forest Queen, I would never delegate a fellow creature to a form that I had not tried out myself.  Flies are lower life forms (I hate to use the word "lower") and that makes them very competitive.

This is a selfie as I interpret the Blue bottle.  That is me in the background interpreting Durga.



This is a profile photo of the Grim Reaper,  He comes around once in a while to say hey.



This, of course, is all fantastic and imaginative.  Oh- some people are fairy creatures....I forgot that.

Friday, May 29, 2015

I Like Spiders

When I first watched the movie Spider I thought that it was the mentally ill child's perceptions that were wrong.. He kills his mother because he thinks that she is somebody else.  I believe that my interpretation could be wrong due to what I know now about split personalities and "alters".  I would bet that the child did see another woman in place of his mother, but that she was another personality, a sexed up one.  It is a methodology of the occult, to create alters.  The occult is pervasive in our societies.

I can relate to the character that Ralph Fiennes plays as the adult form of the child.  As a mental patient I collect objects that I find as I walk around and when I clean the local beaches of plastic human waste.  I would never kill anybody, though.

I like spiders.





This movie is a very good work.

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Undesirable


I have been told that my great great grandmother was a gypsy.  I don't know the actual details, she might have been one half Roma.  I might be 1/16 Romany which would have made me an undesirable in Europe in World War II.  (I would have gone to the gas chambers.)  I would have to postulate that I have 11 million souls watching over me very closely!

I believe that I am Romany, as I have a mind that is mystical.  As far as the bad reputation of these peoples, most times people become criminal when they are marginalized.  Mainstream culture would accuse the Travelers as being dirty, yet the community would refuse to supply them water.  If people can't get a job, they are more likely to steal.Years ago,  I read a book, "Bury Me Standing", all about the Romany.  They also published a highly intellectual Journal about their culture which I subscribed to for while.

Hey, Maximilian Kolbe and Edith Stein, Sister Maria Skobtsova? What is your take on World War II?  Are we in World War III?  If so how do we put an end to it?

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Ramblings of a Former Sex Slave

The computer was not bad at all.  I am not that savvy with high tech.

This mornings phosphenic vision as I awoke was of a man swirling one of those long ribbons and he swirled it around his body.  He was wearing a top hat.

My daughter was over and she was  very helpful doing the dishes.  She propped the cutting board upright to dry cross ways on the counter.  It reminded me of what I am up against, having been a sex slave for organized crime.  None will ever confess.  The lie and the secrecy is their game.  Did I expect when I told people," hey this is what has been done to me, now talk the truth", that I would actually get truth? "Yes, Amy, you don't have "bipolar" that is a joke....two poles the prim, proper and devout and the opposite, the whore."  "Gee, Amy, wow, you figured it out so we will give you a cut.  Why not, Honey, you have been doing all the work these years....you deserve some."  None of these lines have come my way.

Last year when I had trouble with the law for gifting a pair of shoes to my daughter (violating an order of protection)  I had a public defender. I had strong suspicions of being a slave to my odd family and he ignored me. (I showed him photographs which could have been subtle bragging.) The answer for them (local govt- is to shut me up via medication with a court order) .

The  corruption is right up there at the top.  Do I wonder why Isil calls USA the great Satan that must be destroyed?  I think they might know more  about the half the Americans than half the Americans know about themselves.  (The other half are the secrets and lies keepers.)

In the past few years....
 I wrote the president of the community college asking to share my experience as a white slave in modern times with the students.  No response. I left a taped complaint to my congressman in his office.  I have been to the police.  As soon as they hear the bipolar issue- I have no credibility and will be carted off to a mental hospital.  Message?  Mental people can be royally screwed.
I also wrote Interpol.  I wrote the United Nations.  I know I wrote the President.  I think I wrote a few blogs in the past that the victim of Satanic organized crime has nowhere to go for help but heaven.  Heaven?  I imagine some have tried to send me there.  I can petition God and I do.  Our media will not expose this reality of the great America.

Luckily money is not what I love about life, contrary to my sister.  My other sister has disowned me.  I think it is a show.  There is plenty of money, she wants to make it look like she is cutting me off for a lousy 13 grand in inheritance.    The older sister said, "Everybody loves money."    I told her about the Franciscans.


My Angel makes it interesting.  He said, "Amy, your former boyfriend G. is serving your ex husband, as in like a servant or slave."  I want to believe all that my Angel tells me but that seems very strange.  I would not put something like that past this drama.  People can be made to do all kinds of crazy things when under hypnosis or in an alter personality.

What is fun about this drama, is that I imagine that I am a Heavenly creature come here to Earth as half of the divine couple.  I will join my divine partner and the world will change for the better.


Disclaimer:  This is all fantasy.  I say that because there are those who want to control my self -expression. I had a dream in the night and all this came to me.  I was just dreaming.

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Time for a PC Tuneup

My computer has some glitches--I might not be posting for a few days as it will be in the shop.  No worries, I am fine.  I just want to say that I appreciate all who read me.

What is Your Bubble Like?

I am in a bubble, a protective bubble.  I believe this because of what has been told to me upon awakening. This is pure fantasy I assure you.  It is real though, that my Angel awoke me during the night and told me to go and unlock the front door, which I did.  I went back to sleep in my guest bedroom on the bunk bed.  I slept until morning.

I am told by my Angel that during the night somebody entered my home.  In her bubble, she saw me sleeping in the master bedroom.  Angels can create illusions, I have experienced them myself.  This woman, who I will not name, had a hunting knife on her person.  She entered my master bedroom and started stabbing what looked like my body.  Eventually she severed my head and put it into a plastic grocery bag.  Next she went to the bathroom and washed the knife.  She took my head as a trophy!

I had mentioned in a poem that I perceived myself as a soldier.  She thought Memorial Day would be a good day to kill me.  I had visited St. Michael's cemetery earlier in the day, pausing to visit the graves of the soldiers.

This morning the head of the illusion was in a box and  it faded out and disappeared while in her possession.

Dear Lord, Thank-you so much for the bubble universe that we live in.  Because of it, I can continue to serve you with all my heart and soul.  I feel so very close to God and his Angels and spirits.  I am able to be calm and peaceful even when stories such as this enter  my consciousness.  Dear God and  Saints and spirits you make my life worth living, I cannot thank-you enough.  Every minute of every day I consecrate to You.

I apologize for the gore of this day's post!  Try to focus on the message of how God is master of all.  Love to all my readers!


Monday, May 25, 2015

Fanciful Imaginings

Sometimes I get messages from my Angel that are outrageous.  Here's one. He said Saturday, in another realm my doorbell rang and I answered it.  Two men came into my house and strangled me with a rope and then brought my body upstairs and flung it over the railing.  They made me write a suicide note first. These characters apparently flew in  from Germany. What I perceived at this time in my realm was feeling a bit breathless when I went to the refrigerator.

'Tis fiction for me of course, I have no marks on my neck.  I feel fine.

That same evening my Angel said, "Amy don't go to the bonfire tonight at your friends house.  They want to bludgeon you then throw you in the fire.  (As in "Burn the Whore! or Witch!")"  I stayed home and got a little breathless instead as mentioned above.


Sometimes I become a little uncomfortable with these tales and my voice wants to change  into another accent.  My Angel says, "no switching to accents, its to similar to changing into a different personality when situations get difficult."

Thank-you all my friends in Heaven and on Earth too!  Who knows about these strange imaginings, do you?  I would bet Mise En Abyme has something to do with it.

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Mental Passport Photo

I just recently renewed my passport.  The picture is terrible.  I needed a haircut, I look like a mental patient.  Imagine that.


I posted a second blog entry today which is against my rules.  I figure since the other was short it would be okay.

I have no plans to travel.  I have a little extra money but I have to survive you know.  Nobody seems to be registering that it is TRUTH TIME.

This Morning's Phosphenes

Phosphenic I vision this morning as I awoke, half asleep.  I see a man in his studio painting with a medium to large sized dog hanging around looking for attention. (the dog's facial fur fans out like a husky)

Phosphenic II.  I see a man in his garden putting branches into a cart.

Is that You?

Saturday, May 23, 2015

The Rider and the Creature

 The Rider and the Creature

Time has passed and patterns set

The rider controlling the moves

The rider gathering the gold coins

The rider creating the illusion

The rider feeling the high level of satisfaction of her mission

The ridden feels the bridle now

The ridden can smell the leather of the saddle that the rider sits in

The rider will dismount

The black horse of revelation is the rider

The creature being ridden is holding the scales

The rider and the ridden have been reversed for a purpose.

The time and purpose of now


Friday, May 22, 2015

Sorry About all the Self Centered Blog Entries

My blog entries have been quite self centered.   I have been going through a process Carl Jung calls individuation.  I am joining my subconscious mind with my conscious mind.  Writing these self centered entries has been a way to do that.  I know that I have a few different personalities who have been doing things that my baseline self would never do.  That goes against the current thinking about behavior in hypnosis, but it is true for me.  Can I prevent somebody from sending me into another personality by using a few choice words?  I don't know if I can yet. I also wonder where does hypnosis end and another alter start?

Do I believe that experiments have been done on me while in a different personality?  (Geneva, NY) Yes, I have been a sexual subject for experiments.  Who?  I know but I would like to keep that under my hat for now.  Different situations come to me and I am cognizant of odd experiences.

Am I angry or do I wish revenge?  No.  I know that all things work for the good for those who love God.  Does it piss me off that there is a lot of money that has been made on me for the past 30 or forty years and that I have hardly any money to my name?  Yes, it does.  Do I continue to have faith in God?  Yes.  Do I worry about people I know and what might have been done to them as well?  Yes I do.  I feel that there is so much mental manipulation it is hard to know exactly who believes what and what kind of character each has and what or who controls them.

Another good question is, What is the role of the spiritual in this drama.  I have a good idea.

Namaste

Thursday, May 21, 2015

The Time After Judgment Day Dual Topic Blog Entry

If Judgment day was July 16, 1945 then what and where are we?
It is my postulation that we as creatures are not human like we think we are.  We are a the spirits in their post judgment form.We look like human beings but our vibration is actually of a different creature.  The Saints are not walking among us, they are in another realm.  That is the realm that I see in my closed eye vision.  It is the Kingdom.  The Kingdom is coming but prior to its arrival the spirits who received a harsh judgment on judgement day are running around in a last ditch effort to cause trouble.

Is it trouble?  All things when framed in a different perspective can be appreciated in a different way.

Example:
A women is prostituted and pornographed for decades and does not know it.  She is the dupe in a second personality.  Or is she?  Perhaps she was protected from the truth so that she could absorb sufficient qi.  I have a personal theory, (and I don't watch porn because of this) that when a sex act is observed there is an exchange of qi.. The person being observed might have a magical quality that makes her evade death,.(thus she is timeless)   Qi is a life force energy.  As the observed, the porn star absorbs qi from the observer.  Because there is no linear time for the magical porn star, she just sucks it up continually, from every different observer with every photographic shot or film.  She becomes strong and she is burned into the collective consciousness of humanity with every photograph or video.

The observer essentially turns into a pillar of salt while the actress glows brighter and brighter.

She is humiliated and laughed at and all the while the life force is coming to her making her what she needs to be. While in one frame she is a victim, in another she is quite the opposite.  Perhaps she knew in her magical lizard brain that she had to increase in qi.  She closed her eyes when she saw the signs that people were exploiting her because she knew what had to happen.

Oh, "O" we were discussing what are the beings that walk the earth if this is post Judgment day?  I have said this before and will say it again as some are new to my blog.  There are a few Angels hanging around.  There are fairy tale creatures and there are animals who appear as humans.  Any Judgment of a spirit is expost facto.  If somebody behaves like an animal and murders or rapes, it is not necessary to say, "you are damned."  Why?  You are acting in the way your spirit directs you.  You might be a troll or a little mouse.  You are innocent.  Damned might mean that the highest life form your spirit could achieve was a slug or praying mantis.

Lets not be speciesist.  All creatures great and small the Lord God made them all.

 So to anybody who considers themselves of the darkness and they want to capture spirits for the dark Lord, its too late.  We  are here, its already over.


 Here I am Pretty in Pink.  A selfie.  My hairdo is a bit retro.


Wednesday, May 20, 2015

50 Shades of Rose

1 turns a curse into a blessing
2 becomes stronger with injury
3 bestows immortality
4 retracts immortality
5 qi thief from the thief
6 betrayed-demons at fault
7 exorcist
8 maker of spirit poppets
9 speaks to the dead
10 time looper

11 lover not hater
12 no place for haters
13 no place for greedy grabbers

14 expanding mental world
15 heaven on earth
16 usher of the kingdom
17 microcosm = macrocosm
18 Durga
19 Kali
20 Pravati
21 Magdalene
22 Madonna
23 Partner of Shiva
24 wife of Hades,  Persephone

25 merciful
26 gently ruthless
27 plays with toys
28 treats with toys
29 visionary
30 mystic
31 Maggie Moniker
32 Porn star
33 Exploited
34 prostitute
35 Winner

36 breather
37 seer
38 sorceress
39 stargazer
40 stained
41 soldier
42 cook
43 worker
44 nonviolent
45 imaginative

46 Forest Queen
47 Earth Mother
48 gardener
49 all things work for the good for those who love God
50 fool

 This is about me-It combines the fantastic and the real.  For some of us some of the time the fantastic is real.



Tuesday, May 19, 2015

a Fantastic Tale of What-if

What if there was such a person as an unearthly creature.  She was born into this modern world to receive a certain type of treatment.  First she was given a little bit of radioactivity every day.  Such a minute amount that it caused no sickness.  Next she was exposed to a horrific event, on purpose to cause her young mind to be able to split, at about 7 years old.  Next, she was exposed to pornography at age 8--thus helping her to forget the traumatic event (perusing Playboy).

Her parents were not Christian.  They belonged to a modern trend whose goal is to tear down authentic Christianity.  This movement does not appreciate being named.  They like secrecy and they stand for lies.

The little girl came of age and was marketed to men in her alternate personality.  She experienced 40 years of her life in this "secret-lie format".  One personality pure and clueless and the other the wild nymphomaniac.

Perhaps the personalities were actually spirits that came down from heaven to help the creature on her path.  The creature was required to undergo a trial similar to the trial of Jesus.  She was to experience 40 years of psychological scourging.

In this fantastic tale.....we find out that the creature has had multiple attempts on her life.  When somebody shoots her or she dies and lays in the bathtub in chunks, something happens to reality.  Reality folds or loops ...what ever you may call it.  She continues with her existence, clueless and the event happened not.  Is it the radioactivity?  In addition to her doses  was there a certain amount of radiation in the sky in the sixties to have combined this Angelic earthling with heaven?

What of her children, are they immortal too?  I would imagine so.  I would imagine that this immortality is a gift that gets transferred when there is the emotion of love and some physical closeness.  But, perhaps if she was exploited by her children, they would lose the gift.

If, while in an alternative personality as a prostitute a man "put it to her", and she felt no emotion for him, then he would not get the gift.  The immortality gift has to do with qi or chi.  In order to flow, from the soul, there must be love.

If this type of creature spends their time doing evil behavior, the qi would most likely start going into a deficit mode...and the being would have no immortality.  If the being was coerced or exploited into unangelic behavior there would be a Karmic flow of good energy towards the poor thing.


So, perhaps, while the child is was child of the laboratory, what really happened was preordained by God.  They were carrying out Gods formula to create angelic type creatures here on earth.


This is a great brainstorm activity for a movie or novel.  I am sharing it with my readers as a gift.  There is nothing about this that is real.  No mother has been manipulated to be a prostitute or sex slave.  Those ideas are just fantasy.  I thank my Angel helper that resides with my spirit for all the good fiction ideas.  You are much more than a muse to me.

OH, ONE MORE GREAT IDEA FOR THE STORY!

This creature turns out to be able to hunt and send on their way, DEMONS!   Wow, this is great! All for thee or Sacred Heart of Jesus!

Monday, May 18, 2015

She's Da Bomb!

The first time I ever experienced an alteration of  mental capacity was July 16, 1987.  July 16 th is the anniversary of the first test of the Atomic Bomb, heralding the nuclear age.  It is the anniversary of the launch of Apollo 11, moon landing mission.  It was the 300th anniversary of the exhumation of Jikonsahseh, the matriarchal icon of the Seneca peoples by the French.

When I saw that date after my mental episode, I thought perhaps I was channeling her spirit.  I think that her spirit took up residence in me as an alter personality.  I created a poppet of her ....She is the Peace Mother.

I believe myself to have multiple personality or dissociative disorder.  I am working through the different personalities as they come to my mind.




I like braids, this hair doesn't lend itself well.

Interesting is the fact that the German people love the First Peoples, or Native Americans.  July 16, 1987, my first bizarre episode of mental cognition deficit, my sister was entertaining a man who was visiting from Germany, and he was at my house the night before I got weird for the very first time.  Hans Werner was his name.  Do you read my blog Hans?  I often wonder if somehow I might have gotten into some mushrooms.  Thanks for the Schroons!  It is too bad that others cannot have their consciousness opened as I did.  I'll pass from now on though!



Nice braids!  Jikonsahseh and I are one.




Sunday, May 17, 2015

Maggie and her John

Mary Magdalene might or might not have been a prostitute.  Men in power have created the legend that she was.  I have recently made friends with the St. Mary Magdalene of my spirit world.  She goes by the moniker Maggie or Maggie May.   This Maggie, personality, was a prostitute.  Maggie tells me that her regular for many years was Peter.  I like that, as Peter stands for the Roman Catholic Church. (St. Peter) Perhaps he represented the Big Guys at the Vatican.  One never really knows, though, in this drama.

Maggie wished she had known Peter in a different realm.  She enjoyed Peter and wanted their friendship to be more.  Alas.  'Twas never to be.

Mary Magdalene depicted with a skull face as her actual skull is in a cave shrine/basilica in France.  The skull is quite interesting..click here.


If perchance, I am asleep and hear someone calling "Maggie, time to go to work."  I will say, "Maggie no longer does that kind of work."  My home is a safe haven for spirits who might have had a rough go of it.











Saturday, May 16, 2015

The Magdalene Meets the Grim Reaper

Once upon a time I was visiting my mother at her house on Vine Road.  We finished the meal and decided to go for a walk.  I was wearing a green wool coat (Anne Klein) with a little lion on the tag.  I was coming down the out door stairs with the hood up.  My mother said..."you look like the Grim Reaper".  I said, "yeah, I am the Grim Reaper."  I would imagine that this occurrence took place in the late 1990's.

I started out this blog entry with the thought of touching on the Magdalene and how her skull is a relic. It is propped in her cave chapel as part of an artistic interpretation of her body. (I presume, I have not been there yet.) I made a poppet of Mary Magdalene and then I decided to  interpret the poppet with my painted face.

I believe it was in November or December when I first started having phosphenic visions upon awakening.  Of the first three, one was of the Grim Reaper.  He was friendly enough.  So this blog entry is dedicated to two people, the Magdalene and the Grim Reaper.


Nobody should panic.  This is just art.  I am not going to go out on a violent killing spree.  I am a Christian who puts forth love and kindness when I am done wrong.  All my actions are through art and prayer.  I am sure that nobody has done me wrong anyway.  We live in a loving, respectful, peaceful world.  There is no such thing as organized activities which exploit people.

This little stick fell from my tree onto the bench about a month ago...It was shaped like a scythe.

 Magdalene Poppet...she goes by "Maggie"


This is all fanciful for me.  What happens when you lay eyes on the photo of me as the Grim Reaper Magdalene will be interesting to see.



This is a little doodle that I put in my journal the day I happened to find a scythe shape stick on my bench.  I even taped a bit of bark to the handle.  I guess I am a good witchy artist.  I am a lover, though, I even love the grim reaper.

Friday, May 15, 2015

St. Dymphna's Feast Day

Today is the Feast of St. Dymphna.   In 620 AD she (an Irish princess) ran away from home with some friends because her Pagan father wanted to marry her.  He caught up with her and cut off her head.  Fast forward a few hundred years, her tomb is found in the forest and the local village has become a safe haven for the mentally deranged and neurologically compromised.  (Gheel, Belgium)

This tells us that good can come from evil.  It also tells us that family members can be treacherous.  St. Dymphna is a gal pal of mine.   Good can come from horrendous circumstances.


Thursday, May 14, 2015

Little Frogs, I am Sorry!

We Christians have been given instructions.  If we feel at odds with someone we are not to lash out at them in violence.  We are to pray for those who persecute us.  We are to be as gentle as lambs.  Today, on Ascension Thursday I did pray for someone while at Mass who I think of as an enemy.
 Does God expect us to keep taking abuse?  That is a hard pill to swallow.  Perhaps the abuse is like athletic training.

 I suppose to be as wise as serpents means to be cunning around the wolves, using one's mind to outsmart them.  If one does not use their mind then they will fall into the psychological traps set by the wolves.  Sometimes I imagine that I am surrounded by wolves, but not often.  When I encounter a spirit who is manipulative, as the Forest Queen, I ask my angels about that person.  I am told," Amy- they cannot be mammalian, they are too cold, they are  frogs in the form of a humans.  Don't let them get you excited or paranoid.  Amy, remember as a little girl how you caught frogs with your friend?  They did not appreciate that.  They wanted to teach you a lesson.  The frogs you caught as a little girl came back in the form of humans to even the score. It is Karma. Can a frog do any damage to the Forest Queen? No." but..... Poison dart frog?  There are no poison dart frogs in the Finger Lakes.


I would catch and release the frog, but I imagine that I caused them stress.  I am sorry little leopard frog!

 Below is myself completely  oblivious that I was incurring Karmic debt.  The spirit of the frog in my hand was just one of many that was to possess those I would encounter in my life.  As you can see I am one with the frog as I am wearing my green sweatshirt.  Perhaps as the Forest Queen I am attempting to be one with the commoner of my world, the lowly little frog.

I am 1/16 Roma or so I have been told.  The Travelers believe that it is not in ones best interest to handle frogs and toads.  Something to do with how they are comfortable in air and in water...


I like these poses- I recall my mother instructing me, smile and not smile.  It reminds me how "All the World is a Stage."



“Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.” (Matthew 10:16)


Wednesday, May 13, 2015

A Lie Cannot Live

Truth.  How does one find truth? I suspect that its knowledge is already within the truth seeker.  I profess that the lizard brain part of the human anatomy already know what the truth is in one's life.  The human mind has been sorting and filtering information input for millions of years.  And thus the lizard brain can read a lie.  A lie has characteristics spoken by the liar.  Higher pitched voice, changes in eye contact and body language.  The lizard gets together with the "gate keeper" of the mind and they decide just what the conscious mind should know.  If the gatekeeper and the lizard brain think that certain information would be detrimental to the well being of the conscious mind they prevent the info from entering that portion of the individual's consciousness.  Regardless, the conscious mind can hear the whispers of the gate keeper and the lizard brain.  The conscious mind knows that something is not adding up.  The conscious mind wants above all to feel good about its world, so it listens to its advisers.   Brain Block is the result.

When I was a teenager I could tell when my little sister was lying.  I would tell her that her nose was growing.  Sadly, she believed me and thought that her nose actually grew.  I feel badly that I told her that..because I was lying to her.

"A lie cannot live." Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.



I have angelic helpers that have decided to overrule the Lizard brain and the Gate keeper.  I am fortunate in that there are no liars in my world.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Covert Hypnosis Mixed with Sex Slavery

I finished the House of Seven Gables by Nathaniel Hawthorne last week.  There is a chapter titled "Alice Pyncheon".  The point of the chapter is to let people know about covert hypnosis.  This book was written in 1851.  Seems that covert hypnosis mind control has been going on for a long time.  The House of Seven Gables still stands, in Salem, Massachusetts. Yes, that is the Salem notorious for the witch trials.  It is a witch haven mecca.  Oh, would you just look at that --Witches, Salem and covert mind control all in the same topic.

I have said that I am a hybrid sort of character.  I have thought myself a sorceress.  I learned while I was in the State Mental hospital that I could make the tree leaves outside the window blow around faster. (causality).  I can sense curses.  I don't ever confront the person who put a curse on something.  What would be the point?  They would only deny it.

Covert hypnosis and fractured personalities are an interesting topic.  One thing you must do, never confront the person if you know it is going on.  Once again, they would deny it as they just could not possibly believe that it happens to them.

I was told once, "we think that she has a split  personality."  Thank-you! Thank-you! a million times over.  Two years ago when all hell broke loose with my mind, I had the same revelation.  I have a theory about covert hypnosis and multiple personalities.  I believe that another spirit comes in to help out or (maybe not help) and takes over the person's body.  I believe it to be a form of possession.  Demonic or angelic, what ever the case.

I have a Christian faith.  One of my favorite saints is Mary Magdalen.  I believe it to be possible that I have been sexually mistreated while in another personality....that is while being possessed by Mary Magdalen.  That is what she tells me.  I have a gift, I can draw with my pen a relic or a portrait.  This is the channel I use to contact the spirit.  I put my hand on the drawing and I can communicate with the spirit.  I am not given any credibility, as I have a medical diagnosis which makes anything I say questionable ....especially questionable by the clandestine witches in power in the mental health system.  So I can say, "I communicate with spirits."  response, "You are bipolar."  Hey, now, wait a minute..somebody said I have a split personality!!!! CAN'T I BE SCHIZOPHRENIC??

I mentioned witches above.  Seems that some witch families pick out a member of the family to be the victim.  I  hypothetically believe that this could be the case with me.  I love my deceased parents, but there are some memories that don't add up to something quite right. This is  hypothetical . I in no way perceive myself to have such actual enemies.  Here and now- what enemies do I have that would put me into a altered personality or trance?  Come on now, come forward, who does not like me?

More recently,there is a memory of a dream I had(over two years ago), 'twas as though the other personality was breaking.  I heard this male professors voice over and over and I saw him naked.  It was a dream but at the same time it was not a dream. Hypothetically,  I wonder if, like Alice Pyncheon, two hundred years ago, I had been taken over by another spirit or covertly hypnotized.  Nowadays, a controller would probably give ketamine for good measure and voila! We have a sex slave who is completely oblivious to the fact.

I am quiet by nature, never wanting to cause anything to happen where I would be hospitalized or alienate my children.  I am by no means stupid...special thanks to the Saints and Angels.  This entire blog entry is hypothetical with the exception of my Christian faith and Nathaniel Hawthorne's chapter.

There was this tall elderly gentleman at the State Hospital.  He kept repeating, "It's witches, I tell ya, it's witches!  The Lord is coming, God will destroy the dead."  I told him that he was a seer.  He puffed right up.  Thanks, Jimmy, "It IS WITCHES!"

Monday, May 11, 2015

The Real Saint George

From where I am, it is a place in which the mythological and the real blend and co-exist happily together, I see St. George as a friend of mine.  From my previous blogs it might be gleaned that I had a human friend reminiscent of St. George.  When we are named for saints we become for them a sort of Mise En Abyme.  It as though one is holding a mirror to a mirror and observing the many repetitions in the image.  We become a fraction of the namesake.  I created a poppet of St. George in an effort to help the G. I knew.  This was because, deep in my soul, I sensed he did not respect me, and thus did not value women.  The other reason was that because  he was a mountain biker,  I perceived his true identity to be that of a centaur.  I was hoping that by calling on St. George, something of the situation could be improved.  I feared that he might remain a Centaur for eternity.   That might sound silly, but I have a different reality than most in that the Angels and Saints are in communication with me.

I was researching St. George this morning and was interested to find that he is a patron saint to the mentally deranged.  I have held my life together fairly well these past few months and I would like to give some credit to him.  Thank-you, St. George!  My ideas are not mainstream, but I have not bothered anybody....no police have come to my door...no psyche arrests have gone down.

It is also interesting to know that the Muslims also revere St. George.  The mythological St. George slays a  Dragon.  There are a few Georges in history that are claiming to be the famous St. George so it is a bit confusing.  If one goes by my mise en abyme theory of identity, then of course, it makes no difference.

Do not think, though, that just because you are named for a saint that you will be off the hook on Judgement Day.  I would think that it helps to have clean hands and a pure heart.


This is a poppet portrait of the actual St. George.  I have neglected him.....he says he has advice for me.

Thanks so much for reading my blog.  Your thoughts are appreciated.



Sunday, May 10, 2015

Rigamortis? I'll Pass

In 2013 one of my delusions, oh excuse me!  One of my visions was that I was an MK Ultra child.    I believed as a government experiment I was given radio activity as a child.  For your information as citizens we are possessions of the government, like objects.  They can do as they wish with us.  My father was in the Army and the Air force.

I was told during my visions that I was made immortal by the radioactive treatments.  I started having all these scenarios that came to my mind in which I "time looped" out of death.  There were various ways in which I cheated the grim reaper.  I was knifed and shape shifted with a deer in adolescence while in the forest on a walk with a friend.


One vision told me that I was incinerated while pregnant with my son, and my daughter was too.  We died from eating poison mushrooms.  The memory I had was that of a very hot wind.  In my vision I was told that I was shot by my husband in our den and placed in the garage, rolled up in a rug.  I awoke and went back to bed.  All I had remembered was my husband with a wide-eyed look in the morning.  I was told in my vision that I drowned in Seneca Lake and I washed up on shore and then woke up in the morgue at the Geneva Hospital.

The government of New York State uses the  word "delusions" with a heavy hand.  I have a strong imagination.  I was instructed by one of their psychologists that words are powerful.  I think the word "delusions" destroys my self esteem.  I think these are interesting "visions".  She said "delusions/visions" are representative of something in the subconscious...Carl Jung instructs that the combining of the subconscious with the conscious mind is how we experience psychological growth.

Is it a delusion? Or could I be a FREAK?  If I was a freak, I highly doubt if anybody would tell me. "They" would probably just try  to think of more ways to try to end my life  This is a abstract theory, not a paranoia.  I certainly do not believe it to be so.

Once again my story would make a marvelous movie or TV series.

Happy Mother's Day!

Thank-you God for this day and your presence in my life.

Saturday, May 9, 2015

My Friend Mahatma

Today I completed the poppet of somebody I greatly admire.  I have rented the movie about him and will watch it next week so that I will  be fully versed about his life.  Albert Einstein admired him and anybody who is a friend of Albert's is a friend of mine.  I know that Mahatma Gandhi was for non-violence.  I deplore violence.  I don't like guns, knives or bombs, grenades, bullets or silos, missiles or any of that destructive sh--.

Gandhi on Karma.



This is a granery millstone.... symbolic of the Karmic Wheel.  The little girl is me as a child of about 4 or so.  There is something very powerful about a little girl.  The innocence and beauty just blows you away!





Friday, May 8, 2015

Albert Einstein Takes Up Residence at Fort Henry!

Today, I am making a poppet of Albert Einstein.  I read a book about him a few years back.  I love him.  His would boil an egg in his soup to be practical.  He loved to sail and had a little cottage on a lake in Germany (Caputh).  There is something magical about the light in his eyes.  I doubt if I caught in my poppetry!

"A true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination."--Albert Einstein

He tells me that he is here to help me make sense of my world.  Thanks, Albert, I am honored.


When I was ill in 2013 I saw my father get all stretched out laterally, in my kitchen.  A fellow patient in the mental hospital explained that what I was seeing was another dimension.   I saw the doctor, when he was in my room do the same thing.  They also looked bloated.    I have tried to research about other dimensions and it is not that easy to understand.

I live on Henry st..

Update:  Brown wool suit:

Thursday, May 7, 2015

The Green Beans' Debut

A few years ago I had a delusion that I was in receipt of radio waves directed at me.  I  don't think much about that any more.  I am concerned that my blood pressure is up ever since I moved here to Penn Yan.  I turn off my Wifi before bed, in case that is a cause.  I have a little routine prior to bed.  I put onto my windowsill my force of Guards.

 The Guard force are a team of alien poppets which I made over the past few months.   About a week ago I was prompted to make them shields and laser guns.  I went to sleep and awoke with a sinking, negative feeling.  I was overwhelmed with this heavy gloom.  As I was awakening in the morning many hours later, I immediately thought of a little poppet in the window which had been weakened.  I often awake to messages from God or his Angel.  As I went to the window I could see the little green alien weakened and limp. I could see him in my third eye, his leathery skin and his spinal column.  I was instructed on what to do to revive him, which I did.  The cloth poppet is representative of a real creature in  another realm.  I believe that some negative energy came into the window directed at me.  My alien did his best to protect me, but he took a hit.


I just watched Inglourious Basterds.  It was a very good movie.  That movie has inspired me.  My Angel, of course has guided me as well.  My Alien Poppets names have been revealed to me.  I hesitate to share my personal world, as knowledge is power and I don't like giving power to any negative entities.  My Angel has instructed me to share with you the Alien Poppet Roster.

Matthew- The leader of the team


"Amy's Helper"


"Somesuch"


"Forever Yours"


"Minute Man"


Last night while falling asleep I heard a light but firm, "Crack, crack, Crack!" at my window in the hallway were three of my soldiers were.  As the sun rose this morning I heard" Crack! Crack!" in my bedroom at the window.  Matthew reported to me this morning that we had exchanged fire with a negative energy source, which I shall not name.

I am to share my world with others because it has a different perspective, that of a women in touch with another reality.  Many may scoff.  That is expected.  People in power will certainly not give me credit for anything real.  They want The Power Position.  They will label me with a medical term, "Deluded--delusions."  (Thus making themselves superior to me.)  Thanks God , for your assistance.

Oh! the official title of the team is "The Green Beans"



Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Spear of Destiny- Edited

The physical Spear of Destiny might be in the hands of  peoples in power in some Western country.  Perhaps a clandestine organization has these spears.  There are supposedly many spears with claim to the same title.  They are the spear or Holy Lance that pierced Jesus while he was on the cross.  The occult world would have a great interest in such an antiquity.  Objects such as the spear of Destiny have energy. Cosmic energy. If a being is drawn to an object or has a spiritual connection to it- The magnetism can pull the energy out of the object into the said being. This is especially true if the being has a pure heart and loving purpose. This is my theory.


This spear came to me last week(2013). It is the spear point or lance that pierced the side of Jesus.

I originally wrote this blog entry in 2013.  I recall being in my bathtub, visualizing the spear...next I could perceive the spear being across the globe a great distance away.  Next I almost involuntarily reached into the air above me and grabbed the famous lance.  While the physical spear might be across the world, I was, in some metaphysical way, able to reach out and retrieve the energy of the spear and make it a part of my being.  If there is such a thing as a qi detector of objects, the actual physical weapon would read zero and my body would read as though the spear were in my being.  The image of the spear which I put in this nude selfie has been taken from images of the spear point on the internet.

Why would I want such heavy Karmic energy a part of my spirit? Good question.  This action came to me while I was out of my mind, as they say.

 I hope this selfie is not considered pornographic!



Tuesday, May 5, 2015

The Curse

After we had been married for twenty three years, my ex husband and I divorced.  I never did commit adultery, to my knowledge. My heart longed for something so occasionally my mind would become focused on this man or that.  Right from the beginning, I wanted babies and I believe my husband resented that.  He had begged me never to leave him prior to our engagement.  I stuck it out as long as I could.

For years I took care of his needs, canned fruit and veggies on the farm, sewed, cleaned, cooked, shopped, raised the children and helped out on the farm too. (as well as becoming an RN and working.)  Every year I had a huge garden, Roma tomatoes, parsley, basil, green beans, potatoes, etc.

My ex husband's parting words, as a married couple, were issued in the form of a curse.  "May you never find true love!"

We have been divorced for eleven years.  No, I have not found true temporal love.  I found a faun in the disguise of a man.  It was a congenial relationship, but not true love.  The centaur in similar disguise  certainly was not true love.

The year of 2012 I dated three different men consecutively..each was more abusive and manipulative than the last.

I have no intention of dating at this point in my life.  I wonder if there is true love, I kinda doubt it. Each person is a profound secret to another.....(The Invisible Woman).   In this society and with my unique persona I don't think a relationship would be worth it(figuring out another's secrets).

My husband's curse has been effective.....or has it?

I have this Angel's eye in my closed eye vision who it always there, guiding and protecting me.  I need not worry that he is false.  The fascinating thing is that he has brought with him spirits and has guided me to make poppets for them to reside in.   I trust him.  I love him and He loves me. I have never felt as calm, as loved, or as cared for in my entire life. It is REAL.

I am not his only charge, after all, he has two eyes.

I must give credit where credit is due.  I credit the power of the Rosary and frequent intake of the Eucharist.  These practices helped me in my trials and tribulations and still do.  It is especially important to visualize the mysteries.  Thanks, God.


Monday, May 4, 2015

The Maiden, the Mother, and the Crone

Of all the archetypes of womanhood I believe that the crone is actually the most special.  The crone has been the Maiden, and the Mother.  She incorporates the features of the other two, so that she is actually a combination of all three.  The Maiden is innocence.  Innocence is something that cannot be retrieved.  The crone is able, though, to appreciate others at this stage by being able to look through their eyes.  Some Crones, the hungry ones, need to feast on the innocence of others.  They are the ones who feel diminished in their Crone-dom.

I had a lovely time as a maiden.  Like I have said before, I was able to explore the forest and commune with many different animals in the wild and that I had as pets.  Because of this history, I feel especially close to the Franciscans.

Below is my Angel dog Jenny with me the Maiden.  We were gal pals.  She is the best friend that I ever had. My apologies for the out of focus photo.




I found motherhood to be so wonderful.  I kept records of their activities and accomplishments.  I would cuddle them as they fell asleep and feel so very absolutely blessed.  Dressing and feeding them was a joy...taking them places was a joy...joking and reading with them was a joy.  The picture below is out of focus on purpose as the prefer to be anonymous as adults.




The Crone days are coming upon me.  I love being a grandmother.  I perceive that my mind is sharper than when I was focused on the little ones.  Some might question my version of reality.  That is okay.  Not everybody can see.


I have wrinkles and am getting older.  The  physical is not as important as the spiritual is.   I am enjoying the discovery of a different dimension of our reality.  I have many friends in the spirit world, so I am not lonesome.  The friends of this world that were not true have fallen away, which is okay.  As you can see, I do need to get organized in this physicality! 


Sunday, May 3, 2015

Dear Mr. Hawthorne, Thank you for your Observation

"The sick in mind, and, perhaps, in body are rendered more darkly and hopelessly so by the manifold reflection of their disease, mirrored back from all quarters in the deportment of those about them; they are compelled to inhale the poison of their own breath, in infinite repetition." Nathaniel Hawthorne, House of the Seven Gables, 1851.

I choose to interact with few people because of this.  When people hear my story they want to mirror back to me that I am sick.  I am a complex spirit and not many can understand me.  The lack of their ability shall not diminish who I know myself to be.  I can perceive things others cannot.  That does not make me a lesser human being.  I refuse to accept the mirroring of people who have not the ability to see.  My own breath shall not be poison to inhale.

I bought the House of the Seven Gables at the House of the Seven Gables when I was in Salem in April, 2013.  I am enjoying the book now.  At the House of the Seven Gables I was fortunate to me a little boy who was visiting there as well.  He was a descendant of Nathaniel Hawthorne.

Friday, May 1, 2015

'Tis all an Illusion

Trinity.

Most people think of God when the word trinity is used.  Trinity was the name of the first Nuclear test.  July 16, 1945.  That happens to be the day and month of my first experience of altered state of consciousness known to the medical world as bipolar episode.  The source of my episodic insanity focused on love and God is yet to be discovered.  This summer will be the seventieth anniversary of the bomb..   Seven is a number used quite frequently in the bible.  The number is shaped like a scythe.

Either way, July 16 th is Atomic bomb day. Could something have happened that day that changed our reality in an unseen way?  This changed reality cannot be perceived by all, only a few.  My mother used to say, "what if the world already ended?"  Maybe it did on that date and all that has come after is illusion.  The idea that our reality is an illusion is a Buddhist.

Perhaps, with that test, all human spirit life ended.  The souls were all judged. Next, the baby "Boomers"  (boom as in noise of a bomb) are in fact animal and fairy creatures in disguise via a vibration.  Perhaps when God Saw what humans had done and their cavalier attitude regarding destruction, he said "Basta!"  enough, in Italian.  My angel advisers tell me that this is exactly what happened. It took place as it was supposed to......though...there are few surprises for God.

So, everyone, quit worrying about the end of the world.  It already took place.  This high tech world we live in does not even exist.  It is an illusion......and you might be too!

Oh! When the Saints come marching in!