Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer

Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer
And in the End was the Word, Amy's Word

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Wednesday, January 28, 2015

The Baby Robin (Pet Karma)

Next door to my parent's home was a huge mansion type house.  One spring afternoon I came across a baby robin in that yard.  It had left the nest too young.  I can't recall if the mother was around but I got it into my head that I was going to raise this little bird to maturity.  It was a Friday so we were headed to our cottage on Keuka Lake.   I started feeding the little bird chopped up worms.  I can recall being upstairs in my bed with the baby robin on my chest.  I was so content.  The love just flowed out of my heart to the little fledgling.  I was devastated to find the little bird dead in my bed the next morning.  That pure outpouring of love was not able to prevent disaster.

My parents were relaxed about things.  They did not forbid the bird in the bed.  While I learned from the experience, I think that a little intervention from them might have spared me some pain.  We took in a few other wild animals, the baby rabbit, the crow  Barabas and the celebrated King Arthur the toad.  I don't think it is a good idea to take animals from the wild to keep as pets.  These events happened in my life with animals...more keep coming to mind.  I bet that is why I like St. Francis so much!

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Laughter is Not Always the Best Medicine!

I recently engaged in an email correspondence which I found extremely frustrating.  He misunderstood me and I misunderstood him.  He would shoot of more than ten emails a day.  Eventually I told him "enough".  One of the last points he made was a question if since I found his "laughter" humiliating. If perhaps I sought out that interpretation because I enjoyed humiliation.  I had said that I perceived myself as special (due to my religious experiences)  and he thought that must mean that I think I am the only special person in existence. " LMAO"  No I do not enjoy people laughing at me.  I guess it goes with being special.  WWJD.  (ha, ha!)

This person was very skilled with words and no matter what I said he could twist it to his benefit.

I came to the thoughts about him because of the question, "If a person enjoys being sinned against -Is it a sin to sin against her".  I published a blog entry about my first love, (1978) two years ago.  He mocked  a young high school woman on stage as part of a talent show. He was a popular dude and she was homely and picked on.  All her life she received negative attention from people and she was acclimated to it.  It no longer caused any pain for her.  She was glad to be on stage with the class clown and have all eyes on her with him.

I still perceive mockery, no matter what, unjust, unless it is self mockery.  I don't know if there is a title for this type of  moral dilemma.

Some people believe that there is no such thing as humor unless it as someones expense.

Monday, January 19, 2015

No Extra Credit for Contact with Saints

When deciding who one is, how much comes from mirroring by friends, family and acquaintances and how much comes from within?

I recently was engaging in an email dialogue for a few days with a friend and I shared some of my religious experiences.  I think that the are amazing but the response I got was, "oh, that is normal."  That is insulting.  In one experience a holy card glowed and the glowing went up my arm.  I had been at my mother's last birthday party 6-24-01.  My mother and I had a somewhat difficult relationship.  That evening of the party I laid in bed about 8:30 at home.  I had a lace curtain over the window and a towel with big fishes over it to block out the moon light.  The fish started moving-wiggling as though they were swimming.  I picked up my Our Lady of Sorrows holy card and went into the living room and sat in my pink wing back chair and held the holy card at arm's length.  The Virgin Mary began to glow and she mouthed the words  "I love you, Amy" or it might have been "We love you , Amy".  Her lips looked pixelated as they moved. The Halo around her head glowed orange and the orange light traveled up my right arm.  The swords moved in her chest.   At the time I was attending daily Mass and praying a daily Rosary.  (I am a convert).

It is fourteen years since this happened but it is still clear in my mind.  Sometimes, if I share some of my stories (there are others)  it seems as though people feel threatened and need to put me in my place.  I call it "minimalizing or diminishing".  "oh, that is normal."  "No big deal".  "We all have experiences like that". Well, I don't think so.

I have this diagnosis with the Mental health community which diminishes me and if I have something I have experienced that makes me feel special....darn it all..I am going to hang on to it.  I refuse to accept another persons "take" on what happened.  The experience is mine.  I know who I am and that I am very fortunate to have God  and his heavenly team of angels near.

I have been very radical this past two years!  I am glad that I did not lose favor!  Thank-you God, as I am truly blessed.

.PS.  A modest person with taste does not brag of their experiences, and thus does not bring forth criticism.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

My New Little House

I am settled into my new house in Penn Yan.  It is a cape cod with about 960 square feet of space.  I have lots of stuff. Luckily there is second floor attic space to hold my excess.  I have a new plan in life to acquire as little stuff as possible.  After I moved in I was overcome with the desire to create more of my little prayer dolls.  They are the exception to my rule. I do about one a day and have added nine or so to my collection.  I am in the process of creating my grandmother and great aunt. They are twins. I don't say were twins because I consider the doll in some respects, alive.   It is as though there is a sliver of their spirit in them put in by the process of my mental recollection of the person during their creation.  I wonder why I was so impelled to create poppets as soon as I unpacked.

I think that the village of Penn Yan is somewhat magical.  My son told me that he heard that there was a stonehenge type of rock formation on the Bluff. Keuka lake is Y shape and the bluff is the point of land in between the forks of the lake.  When ill  in 2013 I imagined that there was a passage the the cellar of a house (that is at the end of the bluff) that had a portal to a different world....This is an idea similar to the wardrobe in Narnia Chronicles.  I like to fantasize that the lake has an energy that fuels the center of my creativity.

Thanks Dad!