Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer

Be Forewarned, I am a Fey and Quixotic Creative Writer
And in the End was the Word, Amy's Word

Total Pageviews

Follow by Email

Thursday, December 31, 2015

Who Do You Say that I am?

Years ago people started to give me hallucinogens on the sly and they told me that I was mentally ill.  When I would be given these drugs, I would have a religious experience.  People said, "You are sick."  I said "Wow, I just got enlightened."

I believe myself and family to be victims of some sort of cooperation of the CIA, KKK and Fourth Reich.  I have had most every relationship in my life be scripted by this organization.  Do you think I am going to look to people who have been told to be abusive to me, to tell me who I am?  No I am not.  I look to the angelic presence in my life and those spirits who are assisting the angelic spirit.   I would never look to a child of mine to tell me who I am.  I would not look to a physician.  Most every friend has been insincere, so I would not look to them.  I would never look to a psychologist (whose duty is to see what is wrong with a person)  to tell me who I am.  I KNOW WHO I AM.

I am a queen bee in the hive of humanity.  BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.  I am immune to being squished.  I am immune to raid.  I am immune to drowning.  I am immune to being harnessed for entertainment.

I am spied on.  What I say is analyzed and a script is created to manipulate me....cinders around the fire, smudging my face.

After forty years in the slave porn, I am a very well known individual.  I am not obscure.  I am not like regular people.  I am not anonymous.  You can mirror to me that I am psychotic and I will laugh in your face.  It is extremely painful for the people who have organized the pail of garbage of my last 40 years to know that I know this stuff.  IT IS EXTREMELY PAINFUL, SO PAINFUL THAT THEY ARE LIKE LITTLE CHILDREN, ANGRY.  They should be ashamed.  They are like little children with a big pill of candy and they don't want to share.  That is because this whole drama began when they were little and they never psychologically matured past that point.  The point when they began the shenanigans.  I think that they might be envious of me.  Somebody has to have the role of Cinderella.  It's me.  Happy New Year.

gameovergameovergameovergameovergameovergameovergameovergameovergameovergameovergameovergameovergameovergameovergameovergameovergameovergameovergameovergameovergameovergameover

God, Family, Country

In Nazi Germany the use of mind control over children was part of the strategy of the fascist regime.  Hitler youth groups garnished the children at a very early age and they were indoctrinated.

During the Civil War families were divided in their loyalties. Both these instances show how the unit of family is at war with the government.  God, family, country?  God, country, family?

I know that families can be manipulated by covert organizations, even to this day.  I have a body bug, so the covert orgs in my life know every word we say.  When I pass gas in "private,"  I no longer excuse myself, instead I say, "in your face."  Perhaps you already knew that.  As far as the bodybug- People say little to me.  They know that they could be questioned.  They are nervous.

I love my family....my son, daughter and their kin.  Yesterday was my birthday, it was made delightful because of my children.  All in my family may not understand what the spirit of Amy is up to.  We shall see.

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Who is Asmodeus?


My imaginary tale of my knowledge of the demon Asmodeus.


Some imply that I am evil.  Last night I was repeatedly awoken by itches and jumps.  I believe that this is the work of some nefarious organization using high tech radio type stimulus.  Perhaps that is imaginary but I also received messages on how to combat this.  Interesting.

If I say that I am a warrior in a spirit battle, who may you ask is my enemy?  My favorite biblical story is the story of Tobit.  There is a demon in that story named Asmodeus.  Asmodeus is my enemy.  Apparently he is the demon of sexual perversions, lust and prostitution. (sex slavery.)  Some one in my world has expressed.  "I hope you get over everything."  Honey, it is not about getting over anything.  It is about the Spirit War.(Tis a sort of WWIII)  The spirit war is in my mind as much as it is in the world.

I have said in the past, "I am Durga, I am invincible."  Durga is a demon slayer.  Durga is after Asmodeus.  Many are enslaved by Asmodeus.  I am sad that this is so.  I will work it all out with poppets, of course.  Am I evil to want the demon Asmodeus out of my world? Your world?


Asmodeus is the child of King David and a succubus, Agrat Bat Mahlat, according to Wikipedia

This is me interpreting Durga.

There are some who are enslaved by Asmodeus but perceive it as "sexual freedom".  That is his lie.


Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Sweet child of mine

Sweet child of mind.




I like this and the words.  He makes the same expression as the So Alive singer does in the end of the song.

So Alive- My take

Theme song.

I like this song.  My hair used to be long and brown in the the  late 90's.  I like the multiple set of legs- reminds me of multiple personalities.  It came out in 2003.  I still to this day use the prayer, "I am alive." and take deep breaths.  The legs are not empowering as a feminist, but, perhaps they are telling a story.  They are interspersed with single body shots.

My Analysis of Frozen

I have not seen Frozen in a few years.  I just watched a clip of the song "Let it go".  Let it go is something said to someone who feels guilty about something.  The words of the song..."no right or wrong, no rules,  I am free..".blah blah.

Lets look at the symbolism of Elsa.  She is a magical creature who is cold.  Is she representing women who are cold hearted, perhaps?  I often call women who are blond...that they are sporting a "Heidi doo."  I think fair haired people remind me of Germans.  I believe that I too, have German blood.  (On my mother's side)..so I can report of my impressions.

Elsa does magic.  What does that relate to symbolically in our culture.  Magic spells?  On people?  So we know that Elsa has been cold to her little sister.  Is there more to that?  Has Anna been a subject of Elsa's cold hearted spells?  When I think of spells, I think of psychology and hypnosis and multiple personality type magic spells.

Elsa sings in Let it Go!  that she is free.  Is she free from repercussions from cold hearted magic?

I have a photo of Elsa and Anna.  Anna has wide eyed stupid look and Elsa looks crafty.  I think that the sequel to Frozen might be some heated punishment for Elsa, where the truth comes out and Anna wakes up.  I read Crime and Punishment.  Perhaps after being accountable for her actions Elsa could have a spiritual awakening.  Contrary to Disney's advice, owning up is the preferable action.  (for the sake of one's soul.)


Monday, December 28, 2015

The Power of Love

To any "concerned" about me and the theories that I have about my life.  I will tell you that figuring out what is real in my world has been painful, but it has brought about a wonderful change in my thinking.  I am so happy to be a vessel of God's Holy spirit as I pleaded years ago that he make me.  I have nothing but high hopes for my future and the future of my children.

Truth is a beautiful thing, even if the drama was ugly.

I love God and humanity.

Every so often in my world there is a new chapter.  The new chapter today is the "power of love."

Message from a poppet

There will be flooding at christmas in mississippi...

This did indeed occur, unexpectedly.  My spirit world sent me that message about two weeks prior to Christmas.

Sunday, December 27, 2015

The Spin

In 2013, a couple of psychologist type dudes interviewed me and said I was not competent to be a witness of myself to be on trial.  I had left art at somebodies house and my children had orders of protection against me (totally unnecessary)  My daughter in law got this really strange idea that I would sacrifice her pets.  (perhaps because I had visited Salem Mass. a few weeks priors.)  I have no I idea what made her think something so absolutely against my nature.

I had a list in my house where I had written down all the times that people had tried to kill me.  In my fantastic reality I am immortal.  I thought that the government had radiated me, (radio or microwaves), I had  been stabbed as a little girl by my girlfriend and had shape shifted with a deer, my professor had run me down while I was running outside along the road and my former boyfriend had chopped me up..and it goes on.  The list was not that detailed.  So the gang comes into my home to get my dog after I was locked up while being on trial- a trial which in the neighboring county had deemed me incapable of being in.  The gang finds my list and decides that I was a perpetrator, planning out multiple murders.  No-It is a hit by list not a hit list.  So the murder victim was made to be  the perpetrator.  They had no right to take my paper with the list on it.  They had no search warrant.  The gang twisted my written words and used them against me.  Nobody believed that it was a hit- by list.  I was kept under close watch for an addition half a year after the year was up.  The plan with the government watch is to psych arrest someone if they don't show for an appointment.  I was considered dangerous.  I was only dangerous by misinterpretation and by the "SPIN."  They spun a tale of non-reality.......lies...perhaps the S. cult is involved.

So...if you wonder about the previous blog, you can see where I am coming from.  There has been a lot of shit thrown at me.....garbage.  I am being stalked by people who would steal a piece of paper and whip up a story which results in a two month committal in a criminal psyche hospital and a year and a half of monitoring.

I do photo Karma essays with my poppets.  I will admit that some are violent.  I express my issues with the photo essays.  I fully believe that my Karma poppets work out my issues.  I am like a child working out her issues with her toys.  My photo essays in my personal journal are in no way a plan of action to be violent in the real world.  The action of the toy poppets makes any action in the real world unnecessary.  I have a fantastic belief that I am immortal.  I fully comprehend consequences and I have no desire to spend any of my immortal time in jail.  I also believe that I have a body bug and tracking device in my person.  There is no sneaking in the world of Amy.   I am a trained artist.  My work is my Karma Art.  I work all issues through my art.  I have no desire or plan to ever hurt anybody in the physical world.  In my imagination, I am able to execute justice.  It is all in my imagination.  My imagination is powerful in that it makes free from anger at people who have hurt me.  The people who have done me wrong are above the law as the CIA is behind my troubles.  The only justice that will ever happen is what I execute against my little dollies.  I am coping with my strange reality of having been a covert sex slave with the making of poppets and poppet drama.  Thank-you God for helping me and guiding me to this avenue of expression.  My thinking is at baseline.  I have had these ideas on an off for over two years.

It is exciting to be in the reality that I am in.  Amazing things happen.  Were I to be well medicated so that I could not think then the handlers would be back at it, waking me in the night with a moniker to make me spread my legs.  I am excited to see what fun is around the corner, now that I consider myself free.

To My Stalkers

If a S. person is ever identified, their standard answer to the accuser is "you are psychotic".    I have discussed in the past, how I believe that many in the mental health arena belong to S. cults.  That way, they can tell any who know about them that they are crazy.  The story  S. cults in the 1990's were labeled "hysterical" to cover up the S. activities.  I believe that I may have S. cult stalkers following my blog.  They lie in wait for me to write something that can be misinterpreted to be crazy or violent so that I will be locked up.
 I am not violent.  I am just a women who enters into her childhood persona to play with dolls.  Her adult persona is a Sorceress.  I had to become a sorceress because in this society of accepted organized crime, I have no power.  It is traditional that people with no power turn to magic.  Who has not seen or heard of the mystical archetype of the old woman harmlessly muttering to herself, as she is not part of the mainstream culture.  There are people with "disabilities."  I am a very capable woman, but since the organized crime has spun a tale of insanity, I am considered disabled.  There are some, who stalk, that want me placed in a home for the disabled.  If that were to happen I would be totally discredited.  They believe that a home for the disabled would be an amusing ending for my life(as a sex slave).  My ideas about reality are not mainstream, but there are plenty of people in the world with different ideas about reality.

I just finished Fyodor Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment.  Could an insane person be capable of such a task?  I liked how the woman, Sonia helped Raskolnikov to come around, in the end. It also was interesting how cold Raskolnikov was.

I am not dangerous, my stalkers, however.......well,  they are not happy campers.   

Saturday, December 26, 2015

The Fool

It is no fun for "handler's" or marketers of secret sex slaves to have to deal with "an awakening".  The slaves become aware of all sorts of secret atrocities and blab, blab, blab.  This is embarrassing for the procurers of the services of the slave, as well. They were promised secrecy.  The exposure of clients ruins the business.  It is not funny anymore, to observe the slave, because she is aware now.  What was once funny is not anymore.  This can be so extreme that the mobsters warns the slave, "Cease and Desist!"  Thus taking the role of the victim.  There is that pattern, the victim and the perpetrator get mixed up!  The mobster feels as if she is a victim of her victim, thus to her victim is now a perpetrator, because her mouth is so big!  The mobster is a victim because of the exposure.

The Power of the Secret is what a certain religion banks on.  This is how I know that some in my world are in an awkward position.  They must continue to lie, even if it makes them looks likes asses.  Lying is their ethos.  Some in this world are lairs and are "in" on the secret, and others are the victims of the lying.  So if a victim of the lying knows the truth its a messed up.  The liars no longer have the status of knowing the truth because their lie is not believable to the victim.   They become the victims of their own lie.  So instead they try to make it out that their victim is the perpetrator because they are now exposed.

Oh?   That religion?  If you break the code of secrecy then you might well, as in mafia, be killed by other members of the group.  That is a sad commentary on an organization, that a death threat is how they guarantee cooperation.  (Not necessarily an adherence to a belief system.)

So these people have to keep lying even when the truth is obvious to all.  What was their status, no longer works, they are now "the Fool."

My mother said, "Always tell the truth, it is the easiest to remember."  Liars will trip up.  The biggest trip up, is a lack of response to an obvious challenge on a topic.

Friday, December 25, 2015

The Bull Tries to be a Man


This is fiction and does not refer to anything in my life.

Once upon a time there was a little barn with a family residing in it.  A little baby named Jesus had just been born.  There were animals in the barn with the family, namely a sheep, a bull and a donkey.  Of the three animals the bull was restless and annoyed.  "How come I am only a bull in this drama?  I want to be the father of the baby."  The spirit of the man named Joseph thought a bit.  Perhaps one day, Bull, you will get the chance.  You will carry my name, "Joseph".

About two thousand years passed and the bull spirit was born into a little baby human boy.  The boy was funny and grew to be a funny man.  He enjoyed going to France and the French culture.  He played soccer like the European boys.  He heard about a little girl in town who was really a kidnapped princess from Europe.  Her family kept this a secret from her, because they wanted to make lots of money from exploiting her.  She knew nothing about the shenanigans until she was a Babushka.  Her name was a form of "Mary".  The Joe person with the spirit of a Bull and the body of a man joined in with the "Mary's" family to exploit her, making her do things contrary to her pure nature.  This was all in secret.  The bull spirit in the man was a form of a shadow of the original Joseph of the Nativity.

The "Mary" Babushka awoke and expressed that she knew what was going on.  The people who exploited her kept trying to keep their cover.  They could not get it through their heads that the spiritual contest, Bull vs. Truth was over.

That is okay, the spirits are ready to coach the "Mary" through many more rounds.




Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Anastasia Romanov

During the Bolshevik revolution the family of the Romanovs were executed.  There has long been a mystery about Anastasia.  She has come to me and wanted to share some information.


Anastasia Romanov has a question.  She says for me to ask the reading audience if it is highly likely that a beautiful seventeen year old princess was shot to death by the Bolshevik soldiers.  Judging by what we know of the behavior of soldier men and princess women.

She tells me that she was not shot, but that she was taken to a room and raped.  When the raping was done, her life was spared.  She was ashamed for the world to know what had happened to her so she remained anonymous and in the care of friends.   She says that she has seen where the government has closed the case to say that she did not survive.  She did indeed survive.


Anastasia is Tsar Nicholas II's daughter.  She says,  "There is  nothing wrong with Amy's mind.  She is a mystic and a seer, a believer and a servant of God.  Those who want to put her in a mental hospital are thugs."

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Mind Control


A Fictional Imaginative Paragraph for Mental Exercise

Nefarious organizations  implement mind control.  What aspect of a human being cuts to the core of their identity, thus rending the most power?  The answer is sexuality.  If in your world, you find a character that is fiercely loyal to some person who obviously does not merit such loyalty, you can bet the person, perhaps from a young age, was subjected to sexual mind control.  My spiritual muses have relayed this information to me to help me to be loving and understanding if someone that I love dearly betrays me.

Not that such a possibility exists....

But in such a case, what looks like a perpetrator is actually the victim of a perpetrator.  This relationship is carried out to exercise power over situation.

Monday, December 21, 2015

I Did Not Do Anything to You


This is Fiction.  No psyche arrest necessary.

"I did not do anything to you."
These words were told to me by a fictional family member.
I also heard these fictional words many years ago.  "There are no victims, people call out spiritually and what happens to them, they are in agreement with." from the same person.  This person was investigating Satanism.

I am nobody's victim.  If my eggs were sold it is because I knew that my eggs were special and needed to be born.  I knew that in my subconscious mind without knowing in my conscious mind that  my eggs were harvested.  You who harvested them were the agent of my desires.

I laid on my back because I agreed with Jesus to be a part of Judgement.  I agreed to this scenario as it gave me power to work for God.

I participated in porn as I am a timeless being.  The qi I garnish with sexuality is powerful and gives me power over peoples spirits, with the help of the angels and saints.  I am God's agent and what has gone down in my life was a necessary path.


I am not Satanic, but I believe that Satan works with our Lord to bring people to the test.  Satan is a partner with God.  If he had not influenced Judas, where would the salvation story be?  Teamwork.  It is all about team work.

Nobody does anything to me without the explicit permission from the Lord God Almighty.

You did not do anything to me, you actually helped me without knowing it.


My Opinion of The New Star Wars

Last night the spirit guided me to see, Star Wars, the Force Awakens.  "The Awakening" is a title that I have used in my life about July 16, 1987.  That was when I first was overwhelmed with the perception that my life was bigger than I realized.

The Star wars movie was disappointing to me.  At first I was so glad that an African American man was in a major role.  Then I saw what the writer and creators did.  They made the African American to be somewhat of a stupid dude.  He was inexperienced and did not see that the point of the mission was to save the Galaxy.  All he could think about was the girl...saving the girl....This is a veiled reference to black men desiring white women.   They often show the black dude and then a furry creature doing the same role in another ship.

When the evil character removed his mask, he looked Jewish to me.  I checked and he isn't, but there is something about his features that made me think that.  I also thought that Hans Solo called him "Ben".  He did not, his name is Kylo Ren.

Blacks being stupid, Jews being evil.  Makes me think that there is an agenda going on.   That is just me.  I must see things through dark glasses.

Spoiler Alert.  Another question enters my mind, "Was in necessary for the evil dude to trick and kill his own father?   Is that something that we want to show our kids?"

The Force Awakens?  Really?  I don't think so.  I see white honky dudes and chics creating a big box office hit that mind influences millions of young people into continuing age old stereo types which keep the Whities in power.

A real awakening would be a show that depicts how the White Old Man is a insecure old fart who is preoccupied with skin color and prejudice.

It was nice to see a strong female role, but the whole story falls short with racial stereotypes..and of course the female is Caucasian..

The Meeting- A "Fictional" Message Received

Relax this is fictional interpretation of a message I received.  Everything in my life is fiction.



Last night while falling asleep, I perceived that I was being zeemed and bapped by some sort of energy and I kept waking.  It was annoying.

In February of 2013---Feb, 6-7-8, one of those nights I awoke and felt as if my body were an atom, with my arms and legs bursting out like an atom.  When I awoke in the morning, I was told in my waking mind, that I had died and was now in purgatory.  I was also told the words "Czar Nicholas" and
"Divine Couple."

I have been in a deeper dimension than I had been prior, ever since.  If somebody shoots waves and beams at me, I cannot be effected because I am not in your dimension.  I have shared this multiple times and this idea of me being in a different dimension than y'all, is not sinking in.  My consciousness is webbed with angels, saints, spirits and even the big man, Jesus.  I know many, would just like to be rid of me, as I have a big mouth about secret evil activities that ya'll have been taking part in.

Guess What?  I am not going anywhere, as that is not God's plan for me.  You can keep zapping and shooting and it changes nothing on my end.  On your end, though, it brings forth judgement to you.  Is that what you want?  Let me rephrase.  Are you sure that it is in your best interest to annoy a being in another dimension with connections?

Sunday, December 20, 2015

A Letter to a Doctor of my Past

Disclaimer:  this is a fictional interpretation of my life.  Any who have done me wrong are not depicted.


Dear Dr. Nicolai,

It is 32 years to the date that we met.  I brought in my sweet little Benjamin when he was just two weeks old to your office.  My daughter Natalie tagged along.  Your office was on North Street.  You had just started your practice.  I recall your warm smile.  I also recall a few years later, on a visit, that I noticed the look in your eyes was no longer sincere.  I thought to myself, "They got to him."  I could sense that the people in my world made it their business to make sure that I was not liked.  I thought it was because you heard that I had an infatuation with my brother- in- law.  I know now that there was a lot more going on.  I was married to a KKK dude and he was using my body in a different personality as a porn star and prostitute.  For your information, Dr., I am a Union gal.  My ex was always telling me that the Civil War never ended.  I like to add that it was going on right in my own family.

Do you recall, I have the darndest diagnosis- bipolar disorder.  It is a ruse that my family created to make me a more obedient sex slave.  Medicated, I was not so feisty and less apt to put two and two together.  Up until that time I had a pretty good wit and sharp tongue. People love to sedate a feisty woman, it is so satisfying for the KKK type people, who demand respect.

My spiritual muses tell me that my eggs were marketed and may still be for all I know.  If you know any of my children, I would sure like to meet them.  But, my life is a kind of Game show.  You have to buy into the game in order to interact with me and then it really has to be interaction of the abusive kind.  So, it is the mobsters who decide what goes on in my world.

Dr., do you recall when I said, "This synchronicity is giving me megalomania?"  Now I have a touch of megalomania because I am a renown porn star.(dark internet- for sex slaves).  Oh, has reality ever folded, for you, in your experience?  That happens to me sometimes.

What is my life all about?  It is a spirit war of the eschatological nature.   How appropriate at Christmas time, to make that announcement.

I know that you and I had our moments, but I truly believe that unlike most of the characters in my drama, you are one of the few very good ones.
Merry Christmas, even if you are a non believer.

Amy Brandlin

I am a poppet maker and since you helped me to feel appreciated, for a few years, I made a poppet of you.

In fact, here we are in a scene.



Those Disrespectful Sex Slaves

I was not going to write for a while....due to a perceived "gag threat".  But, while listening to my favorite musician, Leonard Cohen, and stuffing a poppet, thoughts began to percolate.  For several months, when I say "Leonard"  I also say a name "Baron."  Why?  I would bet that I underwent mind control torture to mix them up.  My spiritual muse says that I actually was taken up to Rochester, NY to be prostituted to Leonard.    I would imagine, since I adore Leonard, that it was not a bad experience and that he helped me in some way.

Why did my handlers want me to mix up the two?  I would bet, that my handlers wanted me to get into trouble of some sort, legal trouble.  I told my medical experts at the state hospital that I understand "consequences."   That is that if I leave art at somebody's house and I get put in jail for it, I will think twice about ever leaving "installations"  (wanted or unwanted)again.  The Baron character was substituted so I would associate him with my strong feelings for Leonard.  I would then leave an installation at Baron's house and be arrested!

There is a handler, that I will call Eddy.  I saw her at a party prior to this and I made a comment about a "felon."  I would bet that she is KKK and you know those KKK people, they are so pedantic.  I would bet that she wanted to teach me a lesson!  She wanted to edjumacate me about being respectful.  There is nothing more embarrassing to a KKK person than a disrespectful sex slave.

I think that in this little story I see that same old pattern emerging.  The victim and the perpetrator scenario is coming through.  They victimized my mind, hoping to cause me to be an art perpetrator!

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Where Have All The Blogs Gone?

I took down several of my blog entries.  My sister called me.   She was afraid that I was going to rape her horses. She did not exactly say that though, she said that because I thought that people had forced me to be bestial, that she was afraid for her horses..(I, a victim, am actually a potential perp---is what she was saying. ) This was because I had shared that I was hypnotized in my six or seven year old personality to do bestial things. (She was implying that I enjoyed such horrific acts.) She does not recall subjecting me to such torture.  I suggested that she too might have multiple personalities in the MK ultra type drama that our family has been put through.  She was doing the typical psychological torture...making me the victim the perpetrator.



She said, "I would hate to have you lose your house."  this can be decoded.  I am going to get an order from a judge and lock you up for a long time so that you cannot make your house payments.  She works in the court system and has "ins" with the judges.  So she is warning me.  Shut up or you will be put away.  There was one court instance in my past wherein a DA kept saying...K?  Ok? emphasis on K.

She said, "well, two years ago you left art installations at peoples houses."  She wants me to be arrested.  This is why she called the art I left at peoples houses "installations."  She wanted to validate it.  She thought that she could mentally manipulate me to leave art at peoples houses, there by causing an arrest and a psyche evaluation, hospitalization, increased medication............then guess what?  BE STUPID AGAIN.  LAY ON MY BACK IN OBLIVION IN A DIFFERENT PERSONALITY AND TAKE IT FOR ANOTHER TEN YEARS and not expose nefarious activities. (She says she lives a quiet life and is not doing anything like that).   I already said that game was over. It is up to you the reader, am I victim of porn and prostitution (with men I can recall)? or not.

 GAME OVER!  KKK, are you listening?  I am no longer your sex slave.  That organization is extremely violent and arrogant.  They are not going to accept me, a slave, telling them what.  Well, you have never dealt with a being such as me.

So, I did not want the police at my door telling me that people don't approve of my thoughts and ideas and that people think I am dangerous.  I am not dangerous.  I am a sorceress, since most people don't believe in such things....I am harmless.  I am a harmless little girl playing with dolls and using her imagination.  I keep all my work within the realm of my imagination.  Is imagination allowed in America today?  It is a unique activity that perhaps none other than children participate in.  I do see spirits in my world, is that allowed?  Mediums communicate with spirits...I am a medium. Oh but, people labeled me crazy, so I cannot be a medium.

I am not bipolar, that was a ruse created by my family to discredit me.  I was poisoned multiple times.  I do take my medication however, as my mind is used to it. I will not take more medication as it will allow me to be raped.  (I have poor judgment on too much medicine, even discounting the multiple personalities.)

So this is my story.  I went to Salem in 2013 and learned about Cotton Mather and the "spin".  The "spin" has been used against me for a long time.  I have no interest in bestiality.  It sickens me and I don't even look at pornography.  I am continually being victimized by people who want to put a  spin on me. The spin takes a situation and turns it 180-360 degrees and makes it something entirely the opposite by manipulating facts and playing on peoples emotions.

In June of 2013 a paper was found in my home in which I had put the names of those who had attempted to take my life.  My family, with out a search warrant seized the list and interpreted it as a hit list.  Here, I was a victim, luckily,(thanks to my strange reality, ineffective) of multiple attempts at my life. I listed it and was then interpreted to be a perpetrator.  They thought I was going to make an attempt on these people on the list.  My rights were violated.  This paper was part of the reasoning behind having the court ordered medical care.  This was all based on a misunderstanding of my personal writing and a violation of my constitutional right to privacy.  Oh?  Is there a pattern? The victim is made to look like the perpetrator, again!

In 2013 the story was, "she is gonna get a gun!"  I did not know all the stories about my personalities then, but even so, I was never going to get a gun.  I hate guns and I believe in effecting my world through my  mind, not through physical violence.  My beliefs were never considered when the hysteria went around that I would "get a gun."  It was total bullshit.  Total bullshit that locked me up for two months and kept me under close watch with court orders for a year and a half.  It was a spin that gave my "enemies" power.  Oh here's one- In 2013 a family member was afraid that I would sacrifice her pets.  I love animals.  Yes, I had been to Salem Mass., but that visit did not turn me into someone who would sacrifice an animal.  TOTAL KKK BULLSHIT--I would suppose.


. " Well, Amy they had to paint a picture of you being very dangerous, the animal fear added to the "she's gonna get a gun," so that the judge had enough to send you to the violent offenders psych hospital.  That way you would be heavily medicated and be a more cooperative sex slave when you were finished with the hospitalization.  They want you on your back with your legs spread and the money coming in."



I do express my anger and frustration through my poppets.  That is the expression.  It goes no further than that --magically playing with dolls. I believe that the poppet action effectively acts as a preventative for any action in the real world.

Friday, December 18, 2015

The Crime Bosses might want me Psych arrested.

An Exercise in Creative Writing and Esoteric Thought

Some people might want me psyche arrested because I am speaking outright about the activities of organized crime.  I am not a danger to anybody with my beliefs. The power of these organizations is in the silence of people.  I will not be silent.  I have physical evidence of being tranquilized against my will.




 I work out all my theories with my art which come to me through my religious beliefs.  I am not a danger to myself or others and I am not a threat to anyone.  

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

I Found Something Important!

Great news!  Physical evidence has come my way by way of a bedside table.  In my bedside table I found a Librium pill. A doctor has never ordered that for me.  As a secret sex slave it is hard to find something concrete to say, "Hey, this happened to me!"  Now I have it, a tranquilizer given to me to make me more cooperative and efficient in the sex slave business.

Part of the Evil doers strategy is to make me believe that I am crazy and for everybody who is not on the "in" of  Satanic activies to also believe me to be incredible.  They have cultivated this crazy image for many years.  Yes, much that I say sounds strange, I know but.....that is because I have a different type of reality.  

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

The Walmark Logo as it is Intended

An Exercise in Creative Writing and Esoteric Thought

A few years ago, a little neighbor boy said, "We are going to Walmark."  I said "Don't forget to fart out loud, in the store."  I don't like these big box stores, I wish for small businesses to succeed and they can't with Walmark to compete with.  I was in the Walmark parkinglot and I cannot help but see their logo as an anus.  I imagine, it could also be a six pointed star, but what I see is an anus in the middle of letting some wind go....you know, it has to open to let out the air.
One time, as a nurse, a lady broke wind in my face.  I imagine that in humiliation porn, people have done the same.  So next time you are in the Walmark parking lot be sure to see the logo as it is intended-- an asshole.
I have read Kurt Vonnegut and I believe that his drawing of his own anus in his novel inspired me.

What am I, Russian?

If one finds themselves the victim of the Government of the USA, as in a CIA project, what question comes to mind?

How and why would a government persecute their own citizen and with the approval of the elite and general population?

Answer.  The government would not do this to their own citizen and get public approval.

Question.  What nationality would a person be if they were found to be a victim of the US Government?

Answer.  Must be the perceived enemy.

Question.  Who was in the 1960's, and still is to some extent, a perceived enemy of the USA?

Answer.  I would have to offer, Russia.

Conclusion.  I must have a Russian background.  I would guess, since the Rednecks here in the USA really enjoy putting it to me,  I am not of peasant stock.

I must say when I dated my Ukrainian friend I really enjoyed listening to his speak his language...must be psychological.

I would imagine that I was put in my child personality to have sex with horses so all would be disgusted with me and my popularity would go down.....it was..what is that word?....American "Propaganda".  Nobody in their right mind would try to help a bestial person.  (Reminder--a psychologically six year old little girl)  I want to make it clear that things that happened while I was in another personality were 'done to me'...as in as a victim in a mental concentration camp run by the US government.  In my baseline "real personality"  I do not even watch porn yet alone partake in it.  I do not prostitute myself, either.

Saturday, December 12, 2015

Some in my World are Mind controlled

Amy, Question.  How do you treat those who you love that have been miserable to you?

 The angels talk me thorough each instance.  Some in my family such as my mother and father and others have been through extensive mind control.  When that happens a spirit comes to reside in the person, to help them.  If somebody has been strongly mind controlled they really are not responsible for doing evil.  I have heard from many spirits, my mother and also President Kennedy, for instance, of how they really were not the entity that behaved in a certain way.  As I have reported,  as in my experience of watching a friend be murdered how I became easily manipulated from age six.  I would not be surprised if others in my family endured such manipulation and have no recollection of it.  It makes the victim easily controlled.  'Tis psychological witch-craft of a very nefarious sort.  There are many organizations, triple initial cannot be named, CIA, Illluminati, Fourth Reich, that could be responsible.  They are in control of the government so magic is the only avenue for justice.  Those organizations are in Kahootz.

Poppet Mercy

My poppet world is not pretty.  I have been given information about people in relation to myself and have been responsible for exacting justice.  I only have my magical world of poppetry to work out my problems.  The justice system in my physical world is corrupt.  The bald Eagle I saw three weeks ago let me know this too.  He turned his back to me.  The government (CIA) was behind the organizations that abused me.  If I were to attempt to get help against the people who prostituted and porned me in a different personality they would just tell me that it is "bipolar" and nothing that I know to be true is true.  Like the women of old, when there is no help  in the society for the oppressed they then turn to magic.  So, my angels and saints and God help me as my magic is spiritual.  I live in the middle of a spirit war, as people are angry that I know too much.  They wish for my demise.  In my mystical, magical poppet world, I was made the Antipope the other day.  I actually have the keys to the Kingdom.


When I exact justice, sometimes I am left with a poppet corpse.  The poppet corpse must be mercifully taken care of, as it still houses the person's spirit.  My next step is to look carefully at the poppet and its life and see just what creature comes to mind.  The spirits that advise me tell me what kind of creature to make the person into for their next life......their next eternal life.

Luckily, as a child I was not indoctrinated into any specific faith.  This gave my consciousness the ability to realize that there is some truth to all the different faiths.  Reincarnation to an animal is not a vicious sentence, no, in fact, it is quite merciful.


"Amy, how can you possibly  be a part of such a grand worldwide event, such a Judgment Day?"

There is a Chinese Philosophy that says that Microcosm=Macrocosm.  The small individual world is the same as the worldwide picture.


Jesus says that since so many people that I have loved have mistreated  me, that he wants me at his left side at the banquet......in my magical, mystical world, of course.  Thanks to all who helped me earn such merit.


Friday, December 11, 2015

Shadow Spirits

This morning my phosphenic images were of two horned men, a celebrity J.D. and many shadow people.  It has been relayed to me that they were planning an ambush at the lake shore in response to a photo essay that I did.  I have a couple shadow spirit poppets and they are presently hiding in the shadows of my home.  The shadow spirits in my phosphenic image had hearts.  I was told that this imagery, (them with hearts) is not symbolic, but is to let me know that they reside in living people.  I have indeed seen, on two separate occasions, in the real world...shadow people.  I am in a different dimension, so I can see that kind of creature.

John 1:5  A light that goes on shining in the darkness and the darkness cannot overcome it.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

My Thoughts Are of my Sabertooth Friend

My thoughts as I awoke this morning were of my saber tooth tiger friend.  Its seems that my lips cannot make a seal because I, like my tiger friend have two long saber teeth preventing the tight lipped expression.  I don't believe in vampires, but I do love and pray for our extinct animal friends!  We must share a flow of qi or something.


This must be a young one, how cute she is!

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

If You Try Something Stupid

In my mythical mystical reality there is a saran wrap like film that connects to another dimension.  If someone attempts to kill me in this dimension the saran wrap is rent(a hole is made).  I am meant to be in this physical dimension, even though my frequency is of another dimension.  Anyway, most times I am told by my angel Raphael that someone will try to take my life shortly.  I never share this as to the regular world it sounds strange.  People have been abusing me for forty years.  Now that I know about it they want to "OFF" me and they keep trying to think of an effective way.  Like I said in my previous blog..".you cannot have my life.  It is not yours to take."  So while you thought you owned me as a slave, in actuality you do not own me at all.

Back to the saran wrap rent.  If you try to kill me, I will not die, but there will be a rent.  The rent is not happy until there is a flow of life through it.  It is not going to be my life.  The rent needs to be satisfied.  One day on the way to work I was hit by something and in response I struck a little bird by accident with my car.  It did not try to fly...it offered itself up to go through the rent in the saran wrap.

If I am told by my Angel, like I was a few days ago, that someone is going to try to do me in in fifteen minutes and then in fifteen minutes I see you, I might say to myself-in my thoughts, in self defense, "bang-bang, you are dead".  Then you shoot me and the rent is formed....then what?  Somebody has to go to the after life dimension.  It is not going to be me.

I do all my shooting only with words and imagination.  I have no desire to own a gun.  There is no need for me to own a gun.    I will never choose to own a real gun.  I live in a mythological mystical world and I solve all my problems with my faith in GOD and in my very own imagination.

I am telling you this because I am a non-violent person and I don't like to have to be thinking bang bang-you are dead.  I like loving and peaceful thoughts.

An Attack of Itchiness

For the last several weeks, when I fall asleep, all is calm.  Sometimes I get a hypnic jerk to wake up and do something that I might have forgotten, such as say  my prayers.  Last night I was plagued by itchiness.  I believe that I am in receipt, at times, of harassing radio waves.  There must be an itch frequency that I am bombarded by.  This most likely would be from the CIA.  I don't know why they enjoy annoying me.  Perhaps their goal is more nefarious, but all I perceive is an itch, and a pain in my ear.  My paintings responded to the attack, many are now hanging crooked  from the vibes.

This happened after I heard weird high tech sounds (similar to receive a text notification) in my mind.  If this was a hightech attack on my life....I tell you now...YOU CANNOT HAVE MY LIFE.  It is not yours to take.

Dear CIA, I would appreciate it if you would cease and desist harassing me.  You must have a lot of pressure from the Fourth Reich and the Triple initial that shall not be named organization.  Enough is enough.  Basta.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Come Holy Magic Come

If you see me out in the grocery store I would appreciate if you kept your Triple Initial (thou shalt not be named secret org-sign language to yourself). A few times when I have been out women do a tight lips pressed together sign or even worse a finger across the lips...in a zipping motion.  In 2013 I saw it too, people slyly dragging their hand across their throat.  They are left out of the loop about me and death.  Secret organizations guard information.

Much to my surprise, my life's work has been on my back with people looking at my pink creases and folds. (I did not know that I was a sex slave) For  40 plus years I have been porned and gang banged while in a six year old personality.  God did not put me through this so that I would keep my mouth shut about it.  I know that the safest method to speak out is on my blog, as the police and government are in collusion with the white supremacists.  I have always been a human rights advocate in my personal philosophies.  Because of that, I was made to be thought of as crazy and I have been exploited.  The government was behind it, as was my family.

About these women with the signs.....Are they concerned that they will not have someone to watch be humiliated in their porn entertainment?  Are they worried that the oppressive regime that they support might fall if someone speaks out?  Slavery is wrong.  Are there any people out there besides myself who stand for righteousness?

I am just venting.  I know darn well that this is a spirit war.  It can only be solved with Holy Magic.  

Monday, December 7, 2015

Of all The Men I've Loved Before

I have been working on a photo journal of my poppets as they work through Karma.  It's a sort of Judgment Day Journal.  I think through all my relationships and with the help of angels and saints and spirits I figure things out.  I get the whole scoop from my spirit friends.

I am the kind of woman who, in the past was very loving and gentle.  I tried to always have an open mind.  Then I was informed that I had multiple personalities and that people who I love were exploiting me.  Some folks are just plain bad.  Some, like myself, have been subjects of Fourth Reich style mind control, so I cut them slack.  I have even begun to realize that the two people who started all my trouble, my mother and father, were victims of mind control by the US government.  I no longer admire or respect the government of the United States.    Back to my story, which is about love.

From about 1975 to 1978 I loved a character named Joseph, no real relationship.  I have realized that he is somewhat of a humor whore.  He will do anything for a laugh at anyone's expense.  There is no limit when searching for a laugh.

Next, although married, I loved my husbands brother. (1983-1988), (No real relationship) His loyalty to his family is amazing and I finally realized tonight that he is truly one of them.  He found my exploitation amusing.  Apparently in the triple initial world, I am a possession of my X father in-law, as a sex slave. (or perhaps they have shares)  My husbands brother is not bothered by that.  The thing about evil is the longer you are around it the more it seems normal.  Normal does not register as evil.

I also had an infatuation with my children's pediatrician.  (1988-1994) True to the tradition of the Triple initial org...if there was somebody I admired, I had to be taught a lesson.  That person is no better than the wicked triple initial people.  They believe that all people would be bad if they could get away with it.   So my pediatrician in the covert world of sex slavery, mistreated me.   My Angelic guide has not brought me to the realization that the pediatrician is intrinsically bad, like the others that I had loved.  We shall see.  Those angels know everything.

Ya know the song, "I'd rather be a hammer than a nail?"  I get to be the hammer in my cosmic journal, after having been the nail.  It is actually much more gratifying that way.

Yes, Lord I am Listening

I awoke to some interesting phosphenic visions this morning.  One was of a bell that could not ring.  I looked up the liberty bell and was reminded that it is cracked and silent.  This of course has significant meaning to me, as a person who has endured sex slavery. a Sex slavery condition that I am not happy about.  I am not happy but I can see God's need to use  me to bring people to the test.  Is sex slavery something that I approve of or enjoy?  NO.  (My therapist is totally amazed that I am upset about people using my body with out my permission to exploit, humiliate and make gazillions off me.  She is so surprised that I get upset.)  Freedom in this country is a sham.  Politicians throw the world around in an attempt at psychological control, to make people believe it is something actually present in our world.  The American world is colored with human trafficking, sex slavery and slavery is the commonplace norm. People have captives in their basements.   Freedom only refers to the freedom for those to exploit their captives and the know nothings.   FREEDOM IN AMERICA IS A BOLDFACE LIE.

Back to the phosphenes....The next image was that of a demon with curved tusks and the Angel said to me, "Shiloh."  I had a dog named Shiloh many years ago.  I was afraid that he would attack my grand-daughter so I gave him back to the shelter-lady.  The Demon type spiritual creature is named Shiloh.  He is here to help me.  From my perspective, he is a good buddy.

Shiloh.  Shiloh is very interesting in the Bible.  It was the center of Jewish activities prior to when the temple in Jerusalem was built and also was the center of Judaic activity at the time of Samuel.  I have always enjoyed the story of Samuel, as Samuel is reported to have said, "Yes Lord, I am listening."  I can identify with him.

Sunday, December 6, 2015

KKahootz

The court system has people who practice Satanic worship on their payrolls.  The Satanic people have a vested interest in keeping anyone with a hunch about their activities shut up.  The Judge, (triple initial, cannot be named member) also does not want anybody who is not in agreement with his philosophies to speak out.  The judge and the case worker work to tell anybody who knows what is going on that they are psychotic.  So, lets say I went to the police and said, I really think that there is organized crime or Satanic activity the police would call for a mental hygiene arrest.  In the hospital, other satanic people would tell the person that she is imagining things and to"take your meds".  The meds might even get court ordered by the triple initial cannot be named organization's member judge.  Then, perhaps a satanic individual might extrapolate (She is gonna get a gun!)  Then since the Satanist thought that, the person would be labeled violent.  Next step, the state hospital.  Doctors would of course ignore thoughts of the patient.  (Patients thoughts are meaningless...give them meds so that they can't come up with ideas.)  Or the State hospital doctors might also be satanic or triple initial, in which case the patient would be heavily medicated.  (They like the sex slaves to be really drugged up so that they are more cooperative with odd sexual practices.) Since the Satanic person was afraid that the person who caught onto their game was violent (sham)...then there would be a court ordered "you must take your pills and see the doctor" document.  This way the Satanic person feels more comfortable and in control  Someone is going to the person (with suspicions) every week and telling ...no that is not true....take your pills...you sound psychotic.

Meanwhile since the person with suspicions is nicely drugged she is a cooperative sex slave, taking her pills and spreading her legs, (in another personality.)

The triple initial judge is comfortable and might even pay for a visit too the slave.

The witch is very entertained by it all, she feels her power as she tells people who they are ....and aren't..lying all the time.  Witches revel in lies.  It is all a fun game for her.

Mind Control a Well Traversed Frontier

In my recent photo essay I used the Kennedy brothers.  Jack Kennedy executed an important mission.  It can be easy for me to say..."Its all about me, see what has been done to me."  It is all about us.  Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Jr and John F. Kennedy and Robert Kennedy.  If you note, dear Malcolm X had a complete change of  execution of his philosophy.  He became all lovey dovey.  Is it possible that he endured mind control?  Is it possible that the folks in MK Ultra and Project paperclip figured out how to change Malcolm to their liking?

Bobbie and Jack...sex fiends.  They tell me from the afterlife that they too were mind controlled.  They were hypnotized to be sex fiends and that was not their natural inclination at all.  When I hear of men in power behaving like adolescents I automatically think "what is wrong with this picture."

In fact there were some folks in South America, especially those teaching psychology....(as in Jorge Mario Bergoglio) who knew full well what was being done to the president and did nothing to help.  Jorge had German connections and the Germans were the ones teaching the Americans how to implement mind control.  So when you hear President Obama say that we are in a new frontier learning about the mind, it is total bullshit.

Teach me a Lesson

My psychological captors always like to "teach me a lesson."  The captors are a mix of Triple initial org that shall not be named, CIA, Illuminati and Fourth Reich.

I have always admired the Native Americans.  I needed to be taught a lesson that the Native Americans are no better than any redneck dude.

Meanwhile in my spirit world......."one good man" search is on.  Does anybody know what that means?  In the Bible story of Jonah...if I recall or perhaps it was Sodom and Gomorrah, somebody pleads that if one good man could be found would God spare the city from destruction.  My spirits came to my subconscious and said, "there is a subculture of people you admire.  You will have to put them to the test.  We are looking for one good man."  There was one good man in this instance, which is a first.


But, in my six year old personality, in August of 2014 I was rudely violated.   My handlers were quite satisfied that they mocked one more of my values.  They successfully proved that the most rotten aspects of human nature (which they are proud of) are universal. I like to believe that there are people who would not secretly enslave their wives, and that the different races of people can appreciate each other instead of hating each other.  The triple initial org. likes to think may the strongest, bad ass people win and rule.  (That is the situation now in America.  The police are racist.  There is sex slavery going on which no one can get any help from-Honkie rules.)

The ancillary goal of mistreating me in my six year old girl personality  is to cause me to become despondent about life and reality and kill myself.  I have said before, in my mystical reality, that I am immortal.  As immortal I have no desire to end my life.  I trust God and His mission.


There is not a blanket Mercy for all those who have violated me (recall I am a six year old child- mentally- that you are raping)  Each person's case will be decided individually.  Some will merit mercy, others not.

Saturday, December 5, 2015

The Grimm Show had an Important Message

I watched the Grimm Television series last night.  The animal faces are a distracting tool.  The real message in that series is about racism.  There was a woman who found herself in the position of "patient".  This gave he enemies (who had infiltrated the medical system)  a great opportunity to abuse her or perhaps disable her as in give her a lobotomy.  She was told that her catscan showed something and the evil creatures were going to operate on her.

This is similar to my story.  The evil enemies of mine were in the court system and they kept me from my children for a whole year.  I still cannot go to my daughters house because I gave her a new pair of shoes that did not fit.  I was told that I was malicious when I gave her the shoes.  That was the charge.  The whole thing could have been dropped as I was never malicious when I broke the order.  I was reaching out with a peace offering gift.  I was attacked.

Yes, like my previous blog...when I was sent to the state hospital because I was interpreted by my enemies as being dangerous (sister-enemy).  I was dangerous to them because I was starting to figure out that I was a sex slave.  Best to shut that mind down with some chemical restraints.  I had to take the medicine or receive an order from the crooked court system that I must take more medicine in order to remain oblivious!  WE WANT TO FUCK YOU SOME MORE AMY, TAKE THESE PILLS...(GET THE CAMERA- THERE IS MORE MONEY TO BE MADE)--The Courts and Elmira State Hospital.

My dolls are art therapy in response to having been raped ten thousand times--rapes which were sanctioned by the US government.  When people are powerless, they resort to magical art forms to cope.  My doll expressions are in no way a plan of action.

You might ask, who are these so called enemies of yours?  Like the Grimm show, some are German, Fourth Reich, they were involved in the MK Ultra, project Paperclip project blue bird crap that the US government partook of in the '70's...it was then, in my case, assisted by the triple initial organization that shall not be named.  I love humanity, all colors.  I was made in my alter personalities to be the idiot for being someone who did not believe in racism.  Their imagination knew no bounds...I have had sex with dogs and horses etc. The CIA continues to manage my case.  There is also a Satanic flavor to our culture as well.  Satanic groups have attempted to corrupt me and have abused me.

The United States Government is an entity that has taken a sweet little six year old girl, stripped her, prostituted her, filmed her, tortured her (water boarded-it was a witness), sold her body for sex, chemical lobotomized her, punished her for her wit...there is more, I am sure.


I can use the same effect as the story Grimm, here we have a true nature coming through a poppet of a character in my drama.  I would bet that he is in my computer.

The State of New York

This morning, my angel spoke to me.  He said, "Amy, the State of New York people are planning to come to your house and demand to see your art work.  They want to use the art that keeps you from acting out as a reason to say that you are dangerous."

I told the psychiatrist at Elmira in 2013, who is in charge of dissociative disorders that I had multiple personalities and he did not even agree to check me out.  Why?  He was under the direction of the CIA and they wanted me to continue to be a sex slave for the entertainment of the wealthy elite and other Satanic types.  These government employees colluded in my Sex Slavery.   I told him in the hallway when he asked what was the event that caused it.  I said, they cut up my friend.


I am not dangerous.  The CIA and the KKK and the Fourth Reich and Satanic Covens?  They are dangerous.  I am just a little girl working out my anger and frustration, pretending that I am a sorceress.  I am not the dangerous one.

I have no intention of ever purchasing any weapons.  I am fully award that every move I make is tracked and recorded, so there is absolutely no reason to try to hurt any one in the physical world.  I have a mystical surreal reality in which I perceive myself as immortal.  If I were to ever commit a crime as an immortal being I would be jailed for eternity.  That is not something I will allow.  I love my freedom.  I have full comprehension of consequences.

I am not a mentally ill person, (with exception of the former multiple personalities)  My diagnosis was contrived by those around me to have me be dumbed down.  (They did not want me to figure out my life drama)

My dolls are art therapy in response to having been raped ten thousand times--rapes which were sanctioned by the US government.  When people are powerless, they resort to magical art forms to cope.  My doll expressions are in no way a plan of action.


I am a trained artist.  I was raised in an artistic household.  My mother showed me how to make dolls.  My doll making is baseline normal for me.  I made dolls for my daughter, I have made dolls for my grand-daughters, I am a doll maker by trade.  I am not a crazy nut in a psychological horror movie.  I am free to express my world through my dolls...That's what Americans always talk about, "freedom".  Am I a free American too?

"No Amy, are a sex slave and you are not allowed to make dolls."


My doll art is strictly for my own pleasure and I share with no one.  If you have hacked my computer you are only getting half the story...it lacks narrative....please don't judge my art from a computer hack.  It is parody and it is quite funny.


Dear State of New York, The movie Secret Window had the message that I would be a dangerous psychokiller.  Johnny Depp was wrong.  That movie was pure propaganda.  Johnny Depp is wrong.  Johnny Depp is wrong,  Johnny Depp was wrong.  I repeated it to form a psychological imprint.  I learned that from my owners (as a sex slave.)

Friday, December 4, 2015

How I was Made to Have Multiple Personalities

I have mentioned that I am part of a program similar to mk ultra.  When I was six years old my family and I went on a trip to New Hampshire to visit friends who had a cabin in the woods.  We went for a walk to a nearby berg or hamlet which had a butcher shop.  We entered the butcher shop and my friend from home was there.  She and I had just completed first grade together.  Her name was Sally, Sherrie- something like that.  We were told that there was something fun in store.  There were a couple other men there as well.  The men proceeded to lay Sally on the table and they told me to turn on the switch which activated the blade. I watched as my friend was cut in half while alive.  I believe that the men might have been CIA dudes.  Sally was cut up an bagged in a big plastic bag.  Sally came to the event planned for her sacrifice in a white dress with red polka-dots.    I believe that my father put her inside a refrigerator which was sunk in the lake.  We could always see the fridge tied closed, when the water was clear.
Thank-you Neil Gaiman, for the imagery of the refrigerator with a dead body.  It jogged my memory.

The CIA dudes put me through this to create in me a multiple personalities.  After the horrific action the family friend showed me a newt, a red salamander.  This was specific ..for me to feel whole when I was supine, as in when, as a sex slave, I performed.  This woman happened to be a child psychologist.  When I reached puberty people who were close to my family and wanted, with their permission to enslave me knew the secret words...something like this   "want to go for a walk and cut up your friend?"  I would then, in  a psychological panic return to the mind set of a six year old girl.

All the times that I have been raped I have had the mind of a six year old child.

In my "alter" personalities I am no different than a retarded person.  I am frozen at that age.  If you watch the porn of me, in actuality, you are contributing to child abuse as an active viewer you are guilty of viewing child porn.  When I worked for ARC the psychologists decided if people were sexually consenting.  I can assure you that the personalities that occupy my mind when I am in the six year old state are in no way sexually consenting.  That means, all you dudes and gals who took advantage of me?  RAPE.  You are  rapists- plain and simple

My therapist looks remarkably like the little girl that was sacrificed.  I imagine that it could have been arranged that way.  She is remarkable stupid.  "You mean you are angry that you were a sex slave?" (As if I enjoyed my body being robbed from my mind)  It may look like that, but that is a person with a six year old brain doing the acts instructed of her.  NO!  I AM NOT HAPPY THAT I WAS ENSLAVED.

I have been taught by God, to always be able to change perspectives.  When I realize that I am God's special agent, well, then, the situation is more tolerable.  I can visualize where this whole situation can be very helpful when God makes his list and checks it twice.

We always think of some sort of psychopath when sick things happen..  The Mk Ultra program was nourished by the work of the Nazi's in World War II.  I am grateful that we did not eat her....sweet little Sally.

Danny the Dinosaur-A Fairy tale

There once was a dinosaur named Danny.  He resided in a colony of dinosaurs and had the honored position of supplying all the other dinosaurs with food.  Danny loved dinosaur history and recalled a time when a certain bird served the dinosaur clan.  This type of bird lived side by side the dinosaurs, yet not too close in Danny's country.  Danny and some other dinosaur friends decided to gather the bird eggs from another continent and bring these back to his colony.  The colonists put the little hatchlings in cages in their dinosaur basements and raised them to serve Danny and his dinosaur clan.  When the little birds were of no use, they would eat them.  This was all done in secret.  Danny was able to pay off any that posed a threat to his "way of life", or he would get out his glock....

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Dinosaurs, the Real Terroists

What does it mean to be human?  Many talk of reincarnation.  If reincarnation is indeed a pattern of behavior of spirits, what of the dinosaurs?  There are plenty of cold blooded, cold hearted people among us.  Perhaps we should cut them some slack as their real issue is that they have a dinosaur spirit.  We think that we are not familiar with dinosaurs when in fact we most certainly are.  Chickens are like a dinosaur with feathers instead of scales.

If you read on the internet about conspiracy theories you will here of creatures that walk among us that are lizards.  The writers about these creatures like to say that they are aliens.  I think that they are dinosaur spirits reincarnated.  They are not really aliens, they are from another time.  A time when brutality and ruthlessness was the norm.  They are comfortable with a reality which is Terror itself.

If this were a mystical reality for yourself, would you prefer the dinosaurs come back and foot high creatures that were essentially harmless or foot high troll creatures?

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Come with Me

I have researched a bit about Satanic thought and worship.  There is something I read when reading about Aleister Crowley.  Sex Majik.  I am a timeless immortal being.  I have been through an interesting saga of what looks like abuse.  Actually, even though I am a Christian, I am very open minded to different ideas and ancient ways.  I am a qi absorber.  When I am in porn or prostituted I am constantly absorbing the life force of who ever is observing or participating in what I am doing.

If you patronized me when I was a prostitute in my "alter"  personality and you reached climax, as in a lamiscate, I take you.  Sort of like a game of checkers.  It does not matter if it was five or 35 years ago, I have dominion over you.  You fell into a trap when you thought you were abusing me, I was taking you like a chess piece.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Inspiration for the movie Secret Window

The movie, Secret Window is a movie about me.  That may sound fanciful.  I am a world renown porn star of thirty plus years.  It is a propaganda film.  I image that people started to feel sorry for  me.  The secret societies new that they had to create the illusion that I had a dangerous mind.  The main character is named Mort (as in death) his wife is name Amy.  Mort has multiple personalities and he ends up committing several murders.  A black guy and a white witness are murdered and his wife and her boyfriend.  While the wife is named Amy it is actually Mort that explores multiple personalities. " Shoot her " (directive?) was carved into the furniture.  The year prior to the making of this movie, I had an "episode" in which I carved words into furniture, just like the Depp character.  Mort tries on a hat and says "dairy farmer".  My ex was a dairy farmer.  At the turn of the century I had TMJ, the character Mort hyper extends his jaw frequently.  I had it from professionally performing fellatio, but thought it was from saying the Rosary out loud to frequently.

The title Secret Window is about how the world has had a secret view of my life.  This has been done via family and friends who exploited me.
Many movies are in code about real things going on in our society.

The message of the Big Boys to the public was, this porn star with multiple personalities is the dangerous one, not us.

The corn in the movie represented phallic imagery--as in my alter personality I have had so many men.

I say that Johnny Depp was projecting his own political alliances and politics (which are brutal) onto my "character".

My art is violent at times, as I work out the spiritual alliances that have occurred over my 55 years.  I am not the character that Johnny and David Koepp created, but I appreciate the effectiveness of the depiction.

Lost Love Most Appreciated

This is my former Boyfriend.  When we broke up he disclosed highly guarded information.  He called me  "prostitute".  He flashed a keyfob with the German Eagle.(Fourth Reich) He also put his head on the sphinx for his profile picture on Myspace(we are big.) Thank-you B.  Deep in your heart you must have truly loved me.  .  Nice clues my love.  You most surely are an intelligent person.


What Would You Do For Your Mother?

When I was a little girl, my mother taught us to say "Rabbit Rabbit"  when we awoke the first day of the month.  It was an old pagan custom designed to bring in financial wealth.  I still say it occasionally.  Thinking of my mom, I recall riding in the back seat in the city of Rochester at night.  I thought, "If it meant saving my mother's life, I would walk around the whole city in the dark alone...I would brave it for her life."  This thought was prior to her shenanigans of selling me to her buddy.  I had a strong attachment to her.

If my mother knew something that was detrimental to a secret organization, I would not have allowed her to be waterboarded or tortured.  That is just me, and I have not endure aversion therapy regarding my emotions toward her.  I recall a book that I read, "My mother, myself."  The final sentence was, "I am my mother."  I don't believe that I am my mother.  I have many of her talents but I am not a fractal of her.  She is in the next dimension with me, though, and gives me encouragement.  She enjoys helping me with my art work.

For those that think my art is just craziness, I will tell you, it  most certainly is not.  The personal is the political (Carol Hanisch). My art has meaning.  It springs forth from my inner self and it is totally an expression of the sentiments of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  My art is a security blanket, as by its expression I violate no laws and keep my public emotions contained.  Thank-you so much, God.

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Am I a Whore?

What is a whore?

In the bible the references to whoredom  are about people who worship other gods than God.  This could be equated in modern times to the people who are so caught up in the brain damaging game of football.  Perhaps the collective consciousness of the USA worships football because they know that they too need a good bonk to the head.

I know that I have been treated as a whore and made to behave as a whore.  Am I a whore?  Lets ask God, "God do you think of your servant Amy as a whore?"  God:  "No, Amy people cannot make you into something that you are not.  What you are comes from the core of your being.  You have always been a loving person.  Love is a form of Grace."

What about Roadkill?  Neil Gaiman says in his book American Gods that in the USA whores are roadkill.  I love the part where Bilquis absorbs her john into her and kills him.  It is so like my life, with surreal magic and all."

God:  " No Amy, you know that you are not roadkill.  You are in fact my very special spirit, you are like me.  You have carried your crosses and always been open to communication with me.  You have shown me that you have a fine understanding about Mercy tempered with Justice.  You have done well to expose these so called humans for what they are.  Thanks, Amy"

"You are welcome, God, I am always ready for my next instructions."

Oh, by the way God, It appeared as though a man tried to attack me when I went on my walk this evening.  (this probably accounts for my aggression in the beginning of my blog.  I respond to aggression with literature and art.


How do you take it?

I'll have my coffee with honey this morning.

Question:  Does green mold spoil the coffee?

Saturday, November 28, 2015

The CIA Dudes Continue to Try to Manipulate

I just returned from my job in the little artsy shop.  There is a regular person, A. who comes in.  (a male in his  twenties)  I asked " Gee, D I have not seen A. for a long time."  The people who monitor my listening device think that since I asked about somebody, that I want to f. them.

He came in today and hung around.  He showed me pictures of his bed on facebook.  He said his guardian angel was the Virgin Mary, and that he heard from his spiritual advisers as he awoke(Like I do).  I am unsure if this kid was put under hypnosis so that he would say all these triggers or if he consciously did it.  My alter personality might f. anybody as she is psychologically a 6 year old little girl (who just witnessed her girlfriend be cut up in  a town in NH in the mid 1960's).  The interactions with A. were, once again, contrived.

Dear CIA dudes.  I am not interesting in f-ing A.  There is only one person on the entire planet that I am interested in (R.).  I am a world famous porn star.  I am not a nobody.  I am a sorceress.  Sorceress's cannot be tricked.

You are wasting your time playing these silly psychological games--I see through them.  Do you get that?  I see through it.  I see through it.  I see through it.  I suppose if I say that this is bullshit you might make me eat bullshit.  I am on to you. I am on to you. I am on to you.  You don't fool me.  You don't fool me.  You don't fool me.

I did tell A. that it is quite possible that he too is a sex slave.  A. is "stupid" or innocent and most often the innocents are the victims.  He asked about Greeks and I told him about "Greek boys".


I am Durga!


I will punish those who try to manipulate me through my sketch books. Before warned, Angels communicate with me and spirits, so you should know that I have this supernatural thing going on.

Who You Know

When I awoke, in my mystical reality, I saw the phosphenic image of the Grim Reaper.  We are friends.  He shows up when he wants to communicate something to me.  In my mystical reality, I am an immortal.  As an immortal, some try to prove me mortal.  How do they do that?  Use your morbid imagination.  No matter, Grim is my friend and we all are aware that it is "who you know."

Thanks Jesus, as my "number is not up" yet!

Friday, November 27, 2015

What is it about Empathy?

There are some people in my life and I imagine readily, in my children's lives that have no empathy.  What is empathy?  The ability to feel what another is feeling and go there mentally into another's shoes is what I think of when I try to define it.  Empathy is akin to compassion, which is "to suffer with."

Why would an Mk Utra, (or similar project) person have people in their lives with no empathy?  Could it be for study purposes?  How much can someone suffer under a person with out empathy before they lash out?  Could it be for financial reasons?   If a person has no empathy it is much easier to make them a sex slave handler.  Could it be for amusement for the CIA and the people on the "in-" in secret organizations?  "Ha! Ha! Ha!  Look at these people think that they are anonymous and all of us are getting our jollies watching them live there lives, while we create their reality.   They are so stupid!  Listen to the way he talks to her and she takes it!"

A few years back in 2012 I dated a few different guys and I realized that there was a game going on by the way that they mistreated me.  I said to some,  The Hitler jig  is up!  I am on to you.  They kept doing the jig...I was prostituted to a prominent judge and others...can't recall, I have realized so many johns from the experience of my "alter" personality.  We are a fourth generation CIA studied family.  Our relationships and our jobs are manipulated.  We are listened to and watched for the amusement of the elite.

I have not by any means crumbled under the weight of this very odd life.  It is so interesting as spirits and Angels fill me in on what has happened to me.


The Hitler jig is a little dance that Hitler did when he conquered Paris.  You cannot find it on Youtube anymore.   Must be people want to protect him from embarrassment. (that is the secret politics of the USA, we are allied with the Fourth Reich and the triple initial that shall not be named org.-oops I spilled the beans)   I am not part of that political group which is why I was made to be a sex slave.  I was an example as to what happens if you love humanity in all its colors and faiths.

The Test

I have been observed for many years.  My reality has been very manipulated.  CIA dudes tell people what to say to me hoping for a certain psychological reaction.  I have come through it, I don't know all the details but my spiritual friends help me when needed.

Lets think about the people who watched me "suffer".  They saw how men mistreated me doing all kinds of things to me (while I had the psychology of a six or seven year old) including bestiality, pornography, orgies, etc.  What went on in these observers and money makers minds?  "I better hate blacks and jews or I will end up like her?"  People seemed to think that what was going on was alright, as the CIA sanctioned it.  People found it amusing to what me suffer and not know it, raving about how stupid I was.

I was stupid?

Did it ever occur to these amused observers that perhaps something BIGGER was going on, as in on a spiritual level?

Please tell your CIA dudes to research my audio on July 16, 1987 and there are letters that I wrote about it to S.G.

I specifically had the impression that I was on a mission from God Almighty.  What might that mission be?  Perhaps you laughing, nonchalant, not get involved, not lift a finger to help are being tested.  Thus said, do you think that you have passed the test?

The news from above is, well, you have failed.  EPIC FAIL.



I am not Jesus, "Forgive them for they know not what they do".  That was another drama, entirely.  I am still in a Bugger's Muddle about the problem of the sunflower.

The sunflower is a Jew-German issue.  The Germans planted sunflowers on the graves of their soldiers while the Jews were not able to bury their dead and they were in mass graves.  The problem is about forgiveness and if it is even possible in situations where there is not remorse.

Thursday, November 26, 2015

Manchurian Candidates in my World

Do any other families have the problem of "a Manchurian Candidate?"  In my world, on Easter Sunday last year I had the distinct feeling that there would be an attempt on my life by a family  member.  This actually is not a preposterous idea.  My family has connections with a certain triple initial clandestine organization.  I have been quite vocal about their presence.  The punishment for such behavior, especially by a focus entity is death.  They continue to concoct ways in which to be rid of me.  I have a personal mythology which ensures my survival of these attempts but they fail to understand.  "It does not make sense" to them that perhaps I am an immortal being.

I love my children, but is has been revealed to me that they are not in control of their own minds.  I watched Mocking Jay I last night and they mistakenly identified this type of treatment as "New frontier."  That is propaganda.  Mind control was perfected even before the 1960's....by Nazi scientists who came to America for asylum.  The USA brought them in as they wanted to be on the cutting edge of mind control.
This is evidenced by the movie "the Manchurian Candidate."  The movie was most certainly not fictional with its baseline premise.  I would suppose "Throw Mama from the Train."  has a basis in reality too!!

Movies are way more than entertainment.  They are a vehicle of communication in a society where people are afraid to speak.

Do they celebrate Thanksgiving in Manchuria?  No matter, I have plenty to be thankful for.


Here, this is me interpreting the Manchurian Candidate.  Anyone in my family can play this role as we are a fourth generation MKUltra (type) family.  I cannot be prompted to kill as I play with dolls instead.

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

As My World Unfolds...

My spirits are guiding me and have told me some startling  news.  It seems that I have done bestial pornography.(horses, dogs).  I want to declare that in no way in my original baseline personality do I have such proclivities.  It is possible that I was quite suggestible in my "alter" personality.  I witnessed a gruesome event as a mk ultra type child, age 7 and the alter which was also inhabited by spirits, (for emotional blocking)...would have carried out requests as a little child would, eager to please.

I imagine from the qi point of view this was probably necessary as I needed to be connected to Animal spiritual qi.  But the intention of the exploiters was to laugh at me and humiliate me.  Intention means everything on Judgement Day.  Everyday is Judgement day to a timeless being like myself.

I don't look at pornography and have in my  entire life seen less that 15 minutes of it.  The people around me who exploited me are shadow spirits.  This has come to me as I work out the Poppet Karma book that I am creating.  It is possible that they have been put here to be put to the test.  A test, that as you can see, they have failed.

As I have written in my other blogs I see my world unfolding in a positive way despite that I have been abused.  abuse...use ab...Amy Brandlin....I guess they did.  What will be the cost to them in the spiritual dimension?  We shall see.  I guess, I shall see, as you people are not in my dimension and don't see what I see..

As a MK Ultra type program, I am a victim of the CIA.  There is no where but the spirit world for me to get help.  The world of Sorcery is my only avenue for help.  The government would only call me crazy.  I am not worried though.....I know the pattern of the stories of mankind.  I am a loving gentle spirit and like I have said I have been gravely mistreated.  The good news is that all of that was a test, a kind of judgement day test.  The angels and spirits see all and tell me so I know exactly who you are and what you have done and if I don't know today...we will get to you.

It is interesting that the finger lakes are like Gods fingers reaching down, or his finger tracks.  Then of course there is the Y shaped Lake that I live near.  This calls to mind, "Why, God?"

I ask God, Why?  He says, "You prayed for the Kingdom to come didn't you Amy?  Here is your answer.  Some need to be turned back to Trolls, some to gnomes, and elves and fairies and animal spirits.  This is the sorting process.  Thanks for your help, Amy."


A few days ago I wrote about Carkey the demon.  Even though demons hang around and might present options for a person, the ultimate choice to do evil is the person's not the demon's.  The demon is there to help the true nature of the person to show through.